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Russia loses contact with zero-gravity gecko space orgy

28th July 2014

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A group of geckos taking part in a zero-gravity sex experiment could be lost forever, after Russia lost contact with the satellite carrying them.

The satellite, Foton-M4, which was launched on 19th July from the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan, has stopped making contact with Russia’s Federal Space Agency and communication is now “only one-way”, according to a spokesperson.

It contains four female and one male gecko, and was launched to investigate the effects of weightlessness on sexual behaviour.

Unfortunately, what Russia now has on its hands - aside from other, slightly more pressing concerns back on planet Earth -  is essentially a lizard orgy floating unchecked around the cosmos.

The satellite circled the Earth a number of times before losing contact. Now locating it so that it can have a safe landing in southern Russia in a few weeks time is a priority.

Let’s hope the gecko orgy is found soon. Because really, floating off into uncharted space for the rest of time is not something that you want post-coitus.

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