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The very worst of Craigslist: human babies, 'child cats' and used snuggies


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It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. Never has Dickens’ wise adage ever been so apt after spending an hour trawling through the murky bowels of Craigslist. In the wake of news that a 22-year-old American recently tried to sell his girlfriend’s baby online, TNS has been curious about the weird and wonderful ads Craigslist has to offer.

Craigslist is the brain child of Craig Newmark, an internet entrepreneur based in San Francisco, and despite intentions to advertise jobs, housing, personals and even offer advice, it has also become a sort of dumping ground, a refuse for bizarre and unwanted items in the darker depths of the net. Following a misspent afternoon, The TNS offers you a brief insight into the most dubious advertisements in a top five list of the best, or in fact worst, of Craigslist.

5. Two dozen free goats

A hapless goat owner made the enticing offer on Craigslist following several mishaps that included eating his wife’s flowers and his horror at their alarming ability to climb:

'I have 2 dozen goats I need to get rid of. I had no idea raising goats would be this hard. These little bastards keep eating all my wife's flowers and climbing on our goddamn cars. Nobody told me they were such good climbers. The first person to get these damn goats out of here can have them.'

4. A magical horse

In keeping with the animal theme, one Craigslist user offered potential buyers the unmissable opportunity to own their very own magical creature, despite the author’s glaring omission of what actually makes the horse magical apart from its capacity to grow and eyes that shine like 'the brightest of juptiers [sic] moons'. Seems legit.

'Hello, this is my lovely horse legacy. He has been in my family for 5 years. He truly is a wonderful creature. At night, his mane glows like the brightest of juptiers moons. It is what we in the horse world call "magical". I give him daily protein shakes to make sure he countinues to grow big and strong. I don't know when he'll stop growing, he'll probably countinue to until his time comes. Please be prepared to accommodate a horse the size of a small tank if you plan on keeping him for more then a month. I feed him a strict diet of cucumbers and horseradish. Some people say that it's sick to feed a horse horseradish, but sense horse radish doesn't actually have horse in it, I'm sure it's ok.'

3. Fifteen used snuggies

This curious collection of used snuggies, the famous blanket with sleeves that has become synonymous with unsolicited periods of celibacy, was plugged by an adept salesman that warmly shares details of how it is possible that somebody actually died in one of them.

'Hi guys, I have recently come into a supply of used snuggies. I work in a retirement home and got them there, so there are some small stains on a few of them, and I think someone died in one of them, but no big deal.

They’re still as cuddly as all get out! I thought I’d be able to use all of them, but I really only need one. I can get rid of these snuggies one at a time, or I can do all fifteen at once.'

2. A human baby

Paul Marquez from Staten Island must have been confused by the baby and kid section of Craigslist when he attempted to sell off his girlfriend’s two-month-old.

'Heyy, I have a 2-month-old baby.. she loves to play nd have her little fun, but there’s one problem, doctors say she has asthma nd if she turns a certain way she can stop breathing 'She’s really getting on my nerves nd I don’t want her. Please email me.'

1. 'Child cats'

Craigslist users across the globe have been simultaneously amused and bewildered by this infamous advertisement from Oak Cliff trying to ply us with his curious discovery in his back yard:

'I gots some child cats in my back yard.

'I don’t know what kind they are but I know the momma cat left them there so she must not love thems. They real cute. I see a dude cat walking around my street and I think hes the father. He probably don’t even know he got child cats in my back yard or he would come take care of thems before they get eaten or something crazy.

'There are a total of five child cats back there. I know three of them are child dude cats because they got cat balls. Thats how you know the diffrents between dude cats and female cats. Dude cats got cat balls. No cat balls, well thats a female cat or a underdeveloped child cat.

Emale Rae for more informations.'

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