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Man attacks wife with sandwich

5th October 2012

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A 50-year-old Nebraskan has pleaded no contest to disturbing the peace after being accused of attacking his wife… with a sandwich.

Larry Spurling was arrested after his wife phoned the police, who attended the bizarre scene on Sunday evening. One officer told the court that he found a trail of luncheon meat and bread leading into a bedroom, while the victim herself was covered in mayonnaise.

It quickly transpired that during an argument, in which the
snack-attacker had drunk three cans of the malt liquor ‘Natty Daddy’ and accused his wife of "making him live in the country", Mrs Spurling had made herself a sandwich and retired to bed.

However, her husband followed her to their bedroom, where he pushed her down onto the bed and rubbed the sandwich in her face.

When the police arrived, Spurling was found "lying face down on grass about ten feet" from the house.

Spurling was sentenced to five days in jail. The contents of the sandwich remain a mystery.

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