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Starting to study again after the holidays is always going to be difficult.  No matter how much you swear to yourself that you’ll keep yourself ticking over, those lists of essential reading will probably remain untouched.

So it’s understandable that, come September, you’re going to be a little rusty. Fortunately, it doesn’t really matter.  If you keep your head down and try not to say anything absolutely moronic for the first couple of weeks, you’ll probably pass by unnoticed.  You might, however, want to worry about the less academic parts of your life too.

In short, perhaps you should think about whether the summer break has affected your ability to charm members of the opposite sex.  It was all plain sailing in the euphoria of the post-exam period but with deadlines looming it could be the case that your game has taken a serious beating.  The conventional approach to resolving this would be to plunge straight back in at the deep end but what if I were to offer you a different solution? Hypnotism.  Here are some quick-fire pointers:

This whole video is horrifically creepy but I can’t help but feel that the victim (I’m fairly sure that that’s the term that should be used here) is a little bit naive.  She willingly invites a stranger claiming to be a hypnotist into
her bedroom.  Even if he had only made her behave like a chicken, the appropriate reaction for the viewer Michael Jackson Bird Poop Windshieldwould still be to squirm uncomfortably.  The general mood of sleaziness is only increased by the presenter’s moustache, a style which, thankfully, has long since made an exit from our streets.

For some unknown reason, people can’t seem to get enough of celebrity memorabilia. A few months back, for example, a pair of what were apparently the Queen’s underwear were sold on eBay for over £4,000. Chicago salesman Brandon Tudor met with less success when he attempted to auction off the windshield of his car because it had a bird dropping which “looks like” Michael Jackson on it. Unfortunately , this “one of a kind collectors’ piece” didn’t even reach the starting bid of $500.00.  You can see the original eBay listing here but I’m afraid you’ll be too late to bid on it yourself.

Bird poo may not be the kind of topic you’d want to discuss over dinner but this next video will definitely put you off your bangers and mash. In a truly sickening turn, Australian skincare company, Oxy, decided to advertise their product with a little help from some of its intended users.  They created a compilation of men bursting their spots.  Not for the faint of heart, this ad campaign runs with the slogan “Man sized problems need man sized solutions.” Gross.

Finally, here’s a little slice of flatulence-based humour. Click on the screen to pull the finger with oh-so-predictable results.

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