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Top 10 idiotic things to happen in the run up to the Olympics

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With the London 2012 games in sight, the nation will play host to supposedly the greatest sporting spectacle in the world. But all has not been plain sailing in the build up. Here, we look at ten of the most ridiculous things to happen during the Olympic preparations...

10. Visa forces all other cash machines to close. As part of its exclusivity arrangement as a sponsor, Visa is taking control of all cash machines across nine Olympics venues. Eseentially, this means that Mastercard users will be unable to withdraw cash. Useful!  

9. I.T department goes for coffee break at wrong time. What are the words any die-hard Olympic fan will want to hear most? That’s right: ‘London 2012 has suspended the Olympic ticket resale system on the day it was launched after problems with the official website.’

Wait, I’m sure that isn’t right....

Yet whether it is right or not, this is exactly what eager supporters had to endure in January. As if tickets were not hard enough to obtain, the website set up to handle the re-sale of unwanted tickets simply didn’t work.

Enquiries galore have since been initiated and reports have confirmed that attempts to switch the system off then on again were indeed underwent – but these, sadly, were in vain.

8. I’ll be there in spirit son. On the theme of shambolic ticketing disasters, there is perhaps nothing more idiotic than a potential gold-medallist having to choose which of his parents will be able to watch him perform.

Indeed, this is the choice that faced Sir Chris Hoy earlier this year when his father revealed that he may not have access to a ticket to see his son cycle.

Again, Hoy was not the only athlete to suffer this problem, but the fact that he is a strong medal hope for the home nation further underlines the embarrassing nature of the issue.

7. Lifetime Olympics ban over-turned; athlete fails to qualify. Though the above headline is admittedly somewhat predictive, it is correct at the time of writing. Dwayne Chambers, the British 100m sprinter who fought to have his life-time Olympic ban overturned so valiantly, is in danger of not actually qualifying for the Olympic games.

Chambers needs a time of 10.18 seconds to seal a London 2012 place and has fallen short thus far.

So after all the legal action and all those column inches, the athlete who earned his right to appear on London’s Olympic track may not be there after all... but, hey, everyone loves a good court ruling, right?

6. Future of Basketball team thrown in doubt. Though the existence of the Great British Basketball team is safe for the upcoming games, its future is not so certain.

A vote by Basketball Wales has threatened the future of Team GB as the current amalgamation may have to undergo a parting of the ways.

If Wales wants to compete as a separate nation, fair dos. But to throw this up in the air in the build-up to a home Olympic games is.... really well thought out.... really... really... really well.

Sigh.

5. Toddler strikes lucky in Olympic logo competition. Now the Olympic Logo was devised a long time ago. But it was still done so in the run-up to the games (obviously). And it is truly idiotic.

Therefore, does anything more need to be said?

It may grow on you, but it is awful. It makes me angry just looking at it... In fact, I am now losing the ability to type due to rage.

If only the money spent designing that travesty was used to run a decent ticket website, eh? Oh the wonders of hindsight...

4. Olympic food banned. For the upcoming games, the Food Standards’ Agency has banned unlicensed food vans at London 2012. Street vendors found in anywhere near Olympic venues will have their vehicles taken to one of three newly made food pounds.

You may think this a success for London 2012: no more food poisoning at sporting events and a healthy diet can now endure.

But three of the main sponsors of the games are McDonald’s, Coca-Cola and Cadbury.

Oh right. Hypocrisy? You can say that again...

3. Lightning Bolt might not make games. Jamaica boasts several of the world’s fastest men. But just six can run in the Olympic Games.

This isn’t idiotic – the Jamaican system makes sense. It’s all based on the trials.

But what is idiotic is the fact that the world’s fastest man, Usain Bolt, might not make the games as a result.

When he runs, it is almost ceratin he will qualify; but at the time of writing, all is not clear.

At least we can live safe in the knowledge that he won’t do anything silly to deprive him of his place. I mean, his record is squeaky clean in terms of stupid mistakes...

What’s that, he false started in the World Championship Final?

2. Will.I.Am carries torch but can’t spell own name. The idiocy of this barely has to be expressed. Will.I.Am is a fine artist; he writes, produces, performs... yada yada yada. But carrying the Olympic Torch? Hmmm.

Unless im gravely mistaken, isn’t the Olympics a sporting event? Shouldn’t a torch-bearer be a sportsman? Shouldn’t they be native to the country of the games?

Clearly Will.I.Am ticks all of these boxes... clearly.

Following this logic, I’d like to add a list of names that could have carried the torch as well: Britney Spears, Angela Merkel, Hugh Jackman, Emile Heskey and Robert Mugabe.

1. Olympic ticket fraud. And now we hit the nail on the head. The Olympics – a tournament based on good organisation, morality and efficiency, right?

Yeah, of course...

But also corruption, extortion and... wait, you said morality? Hah!

The Sunday Times recently revealed that Olympic tickets have been sold for ten times their face value in 54 different countries so far! Tickets for the opening and closing ceremonies have also been offered up for around £80,000.

In our list of the top ten idiotic things to happen in the build-up to the Olympic games, this just takes the biscuit.




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