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Dog poo is the bane of my life. There is absolutely no escaping it because, no matter where you’re walking, the chances are that some pesky mutt has already booby-trapped the path. The worst thing is that stepping in a pile of the nasty stuff always seems to happen when you’re on your way to do something important. It could be that you’re going to an interview, a seminar or a date when you inadvertently plonk your foot down somewhere you immediately wish you hadn’t. Obviously you then have to find some grass and do that stupid walk thing until you’ve managed to scrape it all off. But if you haven’t quite managed to get all of it then you risk releasing a horrible smell at whatever super-important event you’re going to. In short, it’s really annoying. But what can be done? No one seems to pay any attention to the little yellow signs. Maybe it’s for this reason that Terra, a Mexican internet portal, is offering dog owners a deal: your dog poo for our Wi-Fi. Everybody hates dog mess but everyone loves free internet. I am, however, struggling to see what advantages Terra get out of this agreement. They’re giving away their product and only getting a load of faeces in return. Also, I don’t see why people can’t just be happy with a nice walk in the park. Do people really need access to Facebook to spice up taking their dog for a walk? Next, here’s another invention for when you’re out and about. Perhaps if all the dog-walking and internet-surfing is getting a bit too much you might fancy a quick lie-down. But what can you do if you’re nowhere near home and still need a kip? Designer Jamie O’Shea has created a solution with his virtual bed design. Simply set up the “bed”, slip on the opaque sunglasses and noise-cancelling headphones and catch 40 winks wherever you are. O’Shea even did a 40-minute test sleep in Downtown New York. You can see more photos here. All of this sounds a bit farfetched but the next product is like something straight out of an action film. A team from Utah State University has created a machine that allows you to climb high walls “like an octopus” (can octopuses climb walls?). The Personal Vacuum Assisted Climber has a normal vacuum motor that powers two suction pads which allow you to climb walls of any surface. It was originally meant to be used by soldiers but unfortunately it’s just as noisy as a normal vacuum cleaner. So there goes the element of surprise. And finally, perhaps this next video is punishment for the muck that dogs leave everywhere. Jennifer Hagens, an artistic dog groomer who graduated from Nan Hall School of Dog Groomers, shows you in this video how to dress your dog in a wig. The whole idea is horrific but the fact that she chooses a mullet wig for her dog seems to make it all the worse. I might feel sorry for the dog if I wasn’t so sure that it had recently made a mess of a pavement somewhere.
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