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Top 10 ridiculous political candidates

9th May 2012
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TNS was surprised (kind of) to hear that a penguin scored more votes in Edinburgh’s city council elections last week than the Liberal Democrats.

But would Professor Pongoo (visitor from outer space, cousin of Pingu and and long-time crusader for environmental issues) be able to beat the other off-the-wall candidates that have come before him?

With a rhino, a Satanist and a bunch of professional wrestlers to complete with, we aren’t sure.

You can make your own mind up.

The self-styled Jesus Christ. Mitsuo Matayoshi, from Japan, appears to believe that he is the messiah. Like Jesus Christ himself obviously would, Matayoshi spends a large proportion of his time campaigning in a mini-van bedecked with loudspeakers. TNS has been unable to determine how much of a success this has been.

Jonathon ‘The Impaler’ Sharkey is a Satanist and professional boxer/ wrestler, who founded the Vampires, Witches and Pagans Party (two members and counting according to oddee.com) and made a bid for US president in 2008. He also claims that he is a descendent of Dracula, and has challenged Robert Pattinson to “face him on the field of battle” after questioning the latter’s validity as a vampire. Which would be funny, except he might be serious.

Cacareco the rhino gained 100,000 votes in the Sao Paulo elections in 1958. Despite his candidacy not technically being allowed by officials, he managed to pull in more votes than any other candidate -allegedly to prove point about political corruption in Brazil.

Jonathan Maxwell, 85, ran for presidency of the American Vegetation Party in 1948 – despite the fact that he was British and therefore ineligible. If elected he planned to ban tobacco, liquor and medicine. He wasn’t successful, and ended his days on a Californian utopian compound with members of the American Vegan Society.

Dustin the Turkey, an Irish television puppet, won a substantial number of votes in the Republic of Ireland’s 1997 presidential election – allegedly more than some of the well-established (human) candidates. Rumour has it he came 5th.

Junior Cochran is a black Labrador, but instead of spending his time fulfilling such canine pursuits as chasing sticks, rabbits and his own tail, he’s taken on the rather more pressurised role of ceremonial mayor of the town of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky. Whether he is adequately fulfilling this role, he couldn’t tell us.

Lajitas, Texas may even be able to beat Rabbit Hash’s mayoral offering, though – theirs is a beer-swilling goat named Clay Henry III. TNS has nothing much to say about this, apart from that we hope Clay Henry III doesn’t down too much beer before ceremonial occasions such as ribbon cuttings, hospital openings, etc. Because that could be embarrassing for the town.

David Bishop is the leader of the Church of the Militant Elvis Party, and also goes by the names of Lord Biro and Bus-Pass Elvis. The Church of the Militant Elvis Party declared that "an obviously ironic attitude toward Elvis is used in the service of rather serious anti-imperialist political objectives." The party stood at the 2010 General Election in Kettering and won 112 votes.

Canadian Extreme Wrestling Party. We think that their very serious policies (including those involving foreign policy and gun control) might have been overshadowed somewhat by the fact that they selected their leader by holding a 12-man wrestling battle. Also, we wish this was mandatory for all parties.

Bosse Person (his real name, surely?) is leader of the Donald Duck Party in Sweden – and as far as we know the only member. TNS doesn’t really understand this, as Bosse Person’s party advocates free booze. TNS would join Bosse Person's party, if TNS was Swedish.




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