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To me Easter always seems like the least fun holiday of the year.  Maybe it’s because of the fact that you always seem to have an absolute mountain of revision to get through.  Perhaps it’s because, even though you suddenly have a load of free time on your hands, the weather’s so bad that you can’t actually go outside without having to borrow an embarrassingly colourful umbrella from your Mum.

Easter is essentially Christmas with all the calories but none of the glad tidings.  After you’ve eaten your fill of chocolate poultry products, the guilt starts to set in and the empty boxes turn into accusing fingers. Sitting in a cocoa-induced coma you start to think about what you’re doing with your life and why you’re still not mature enough to stop celebrating a tradition in which a “bunny” brings you Thornton’s chocolate

The truth is that ever since my metabolism slowed down and a late-teens paunch started to show through my t-shirt, I’ve never been able to look at an Easter egg in the same way. Maybe I should just chill out a bit and try to learn a few tips from tykylevits, a Finnish feller who really knows how to relax.  In fact, in the caption for this video he even says “my life is a holiday”!  It may not be your or my idea of fun but he looks like he’s having a great time.

To be completely honest, I’m not really sure what he means when he says “What’s in a hurry?”  It also seems a bit odd that the music sounds as if he played it on his pots and pans.  However, neither of these things is as strange as the fact that this man seems to have a family of bearded sex dolls hanging in his front garden.  You may not agree with his methods (being tapped on the head by feet in a pair of stockings) but you’ve got to admit that he does look fairly relaxed.

If you’re not going on holiday this Easter and don’t fancy celebrating the Finnish way either, then maybe you should devote some time to this.  As conspiracy theories go, is top class madness.

Whoever wrote this claptrap seemed to want to challenge almost everything that has ever been proved by science. They also seem to want to make you feel bad about yourself in the process (“Hey Stupid- are you too dumb to know that there are 4 different simultaneous 24 hour days within a single rotation of the earth?”). WHAT?!

Time CubeThere’s a large amount of what this person says that is so crazy that I can’t even begin to get a grip on it.  His basic argument seems to be that everyone has a unique “belly button signature” that links you to “Mama Hole” and somehow proves that the earth is inside a cube.  It sounds to me like somebody has watched The Matrix a few too many times.  But maybe I’m being sceptical; it could be that my “face is a corner” and that I’m simply a “dumbass” for not realising this before.  Either way, all respect to whoever wrote this for having the confidence to set out their beliefs in such a long yet meaningless way.

Finally, this is something that may be of genuine use to some of you. This website allows you to work out the size of your potatoes.  Using a simple click-and-drag tool you stretch the onscreen image of the potato until it is the same size as yours.  If, like me, you’re not really at home in the kitchen (at one point last year, late night onion bhajis almost resulted in a house fire) it also gives you a handy cooking time.  And if your Easter egg binge has led you to start up your summer diet a bit earlier than normal, you can also see how many calories your potato has. Isn’t that just perfect?  

Even if you have no intention of eating a potato any time soon, makes for brilliant distraction. Clicking and dragging becomes very addictive very quickly.

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