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TNS Web Dump

13th January 2012

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Being gut wrenchingly drunk for four days straight often leads to problems, or in ‘nicer’ terms - "complications". It means you end up sleeping on your floor because you haven’t been able to walk to the washing machine to retrieve your bedsheets, and in your drunken stupor, you think the dirty, dirty floor is cleaner than a bed with no covers. It means you end up emailing people you absolutely hate at 4am, keenly asking them to meet up for ‘old times sake’. It means you have red eyes, red gums and no doubt a red liver that will soon try to punch itself out of your body in protest.

cliff1It also means your mental state is questionable and you find yourself doing a double take so often, you have a permanent crick in your neck. You don’t trust your judgement. Was that a guy you were making out with the other night? Or were you just enthusiastically licking a wall? It’s hard to know, it really is.

So, this week, I found some pretty weird stuff. Weird enough to make me question my own eyes. I mean, take this website entitled ‘Cliff Richard Dying Inside’. People find pictures of Cliff Richard in various poses, doing various things (fishing, petting a horse, pretending to be in Formula One driver...etc) and invites us to look at the pain in his eyes. To see the tortured soul within. Does he really want to be petting that horse? No he does not, he wants to be slitting his wrists in a bath so hot, it melts off his old, old skin. So yes, have a look at the pain in his eyes, and allow yourself to feel better about your own life for a while.  

Moving on to more mental anguish, the video below is a montage of Great Danes and everything they are scared of. Bath-tubs, gnomes, roses and crabs being just some. Dogs being scared of things isn’t actually the odd thing about this, the odd thing is, someone woke up one morning and decided to search out clips of frightened Great Danes in the quest of binding them all together for two minutes of dog entertainment. Odd. Very odd. Who does that? Not me that’s who.


Although who am I to judge people who spend their time finding sad photos of Cliff Richard and putting together frightened dog montages? Similarly with this blog, Accidental Chinese Hipsters, we are given another way that people just waste their free time. I suppose for some, there is nothing more relaxing than getting home from work, slipping on your PJ’s, pouring a nice glass of red and looking at Chinese people in weird outfits on the net. Perhaps this will become my new ‘thing’. I will no longer stay on Google for hours staring at beautiful Korean boys, or watch as many international films as I can to broaden my horizons. No, my spare time will be spent looking at the freaky ensembles that are on display (on people) in China.

Or perhaps I could be persuaded to learn a new skill. S’always good for a laugh isn’t it? Skills that will make you the envy of your friends and all that. Although learning how to knit your very own Spock ears may make you the laughing stock of your friendship group, rather than anything else. This website, will teach you the ins and outs of creating your very own knitted masterpieces. They have Rocky Horror show themed knitted dolls, as well as said Spock ears that you can plonk on your very own lug holes for the cold winter months. Lush.

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