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TNS Web Dump

16th November 2011

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As a student you often find yourself having whiny, pale sex with some sweaty someone you just met in a rancid club corner. Or if you’re really lucky - one of your housemates (casual sex with a housemate never works - it makes breakfast seriously awkward and you will cry into your scrambled eggs). Some of it’s good. Some of it’s really good and some of it is so gobsmackingly awful that you take to bed and cover yourself in a blanket (the blanket of shame) for days. Although in this modern age, if it’s bad there are a lot of ahem products on the market to aid (or in some cases create) the fun. I have seen a lot of weird stuff about, but this week I found a product that really outshone anything I’d seen previously.

Baconlube. Yes, I write this with a stern, straight face. Baconlube exists. This website here will take you straight to pork-product heaven. To be fair it did start as an April Fool but a lot of people were very keen for a meatier time and so bombarded the makers for more.

Now, I can’t quite imagine anyone whipping this out in the heat of the moment, but I’m sure they’re out there.

Now Baconlube aside - something that does get me hot under the collar is ketchup. And lots of it.

I’ve often thought that I’d like to douse my food in it, but want a classier way of getting it onto the necessary edibles. Squelching it onto the plate from the bottle just isn't cutting it anymore. It’s a shame, but I just feel as though I want something that will really go the extra mile in dispensing ketchup. And lo, thanks to the internet that’s exactly what I’ve found. 

This here will take you to a ketchup fountain. Not too unlike a chocolate fountain, this is the next step in condiment dining. So why not dip your entire burger underneath the flowing, running redness? Savour that tomato-y tang. Mmm. Feel like a king as you eat. Why not?

Still on the theme of playing with your food here, but taking a slightly different route, we have London based photographer - Carl Warner who specialises in creating ‘Foodscapes’. He can create anything, from a chocolate barren landscape, to a meat and mash version of (what to me looks like) Billy Connolly. It makes my two egg eyes and one bacon smiley face look a tad.. well... crap. Well worth a gander his website can be found here.

And last but not least and yes - still continuing with food, I find myself pouring over this music video. Not so much because I’m interested in the song. The song itself is pretty bad (in my humble opinion) So it’s not the music I’m after. Oh no.  It’s the jellybeans. All 288,000 jelly beans. The jellybeans are the setting, are the scenery. It took two years to complete 1,357 hours, 30 people and 2 ladders. I don’t why the ladders are that relevant but it’s just extra trivia. I know you enjoy my special information nuggets. Don’t pretend you don’t. 


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