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25th October 2011

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Did YOU know that one in every three people opens a door incorrectly? No? Neither did I. Do you care? No? Well, I’m not surprised. But it would seem that some (probably not all- at a guess) Finnish people in 1979 did care about doors. They were concerned about door handles, feet placement when opening them, pacing ( ie- pace yourself and never run at a door).

Now, I’m not really a person who has had much trouble with doors in general. I’ve fallen into a few whilst drunk and once convinced myself I was trapped in a toilet of a Chinese restaurant by pulling and not pushing, when trying to open it. I panicked, thought the door was jammed and began ringing and texting people frantically to phone an ambulance or the fire brigade. After I managed to figure out the push/pull mechanism of the door, I pretended that I hadn’t sent those texts at all, and my ‘friend’ had done it for a ‘laugh’. Sadly, the truth is much more pathetic. I don’t even have any friends.

Anyway, if you are the kind of person who has door trouble, the people of Finland have kindly provided this instructional video to aid any door opening related queries.

Seemingly, if you have been drawing faces of Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles over the noses of celebrity photos and want to know you are not alone in this world, then this blog hereis for you.

The premise is simple, get a photo of someone and draw a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle upon their nose. They seem to fit over human noses very well and hey here’s the good news, anyone can post on the site. That’s right. You too could have your name in lights as you dazzle the other artists with your Ninja Turtley creations. I think I might have a go. When there is nothing else left in my life to do.

One weird hobby aside and on to another - the art of decorating your swimming pool with totally pointless stuff. The Internet is a many splendid thing and this site here is dedicated to getting the most out of your hole  in the ground full of water.

As the site says; “The water's glowing and your evening couldn't be more beautiful! Whether it's a romantic night with your honey or a fun party with friends, you've ramped it up a notch with SwimWay's' floating pool lights”. Ah yes, what could be more romantic than having a massive jellyfish blob lit up next to you as you try and awkwardly have late night intercourse in the chlorine filled mass.? Mmm sexy. I think I will get myself a pool just for the novelty of filling it with light up fish and other assorted sea creatures.

And if I haven’t treated you enough this week (hey, come on, I’m trying) I leave you with something actually quite good for once. I like Lego see, and sometimes I like CSI. So combining the two is like a heavenly dream, just with more blocks and parts.

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