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Boy tries to take selfie with a train, gets kicked in the head by conductor

17th April 2014

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Here’s a 39-second demonstration of how absolutely not to take a selfie.

(Not that we think you’re stupid enough to need advice on whether or not you should go ahead with that selfie that you’ve been planning with a passing freight train. But just in case.)

In the video, we see “selfie-taking douche” Jared Michael get a massive boot in the head whilst wearing earphones (he’s not deaf, then), after wrongly assuming that the train wouldd “pass a safe distance behind.”

Why? We don’t know. What an absolute fool.

Still, in some respects he’s pretty lucky. If the heroic conductor hadn’t kicked him in the head with his massive boot he could very well have met his end on the track, in a pretty grisly way. We think taking a boot to the head was the best outcome for all involved.

As he stumbles away, phone still in hand, we hear him exclaim, “Wow! I got kicked in the head! I think I got that on film!”

Wow, indeed. Just wow.

Here’s the resulting video, which he uploaded to YouTube himself. Try not to lose all faith in humanity...  

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