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Students: useless in a Titanic disaster situation, says research

20th January 2014

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Would you overthrow pirates, let women and children board lifeboats first or pretend to be king of the world at the helm of an ill-fated cruise ship?

Err, no – probably not, according to research.

When Virgin Cruises asked 18-24 year olds how they’d react in certain situations, they found that those in this age group aren’t willing to help out fellow passengers/sailing companions – at all.

For example, how many would be willing to “help overturn a mutinous pirate with a peg-leg and parrot to defend those in possession of an old map, outlining the whereabouts of former pirate Billy Bones’ treasure?”

Only (a fairly paltry) 19%. 81% would let the pirate seize the treasure, which just isn’t that loyal, in all honesty.

66% would be unwilling to recreate the (debatably) iconic “king of the world” moment from Titanic, whilst 70% would refuse to “help infamous sea legend Davy Jones summon a Kraken (mythical beast), so as to better defend him from other ships.”

77% wouldn’t help a crew member load cannons to fire at aggressor ships, and a massively selfish 87% WOULDN’T let women and children board the lifeboats first.

As well as it being a good job those questioned weren’t around in 1912 as the Titanic met its icy end, it’s also a good job they weren’t present in ancient Greece – 81% would fail to “help a fellow passenger and Greek hero, far from his home town, resist the allure of several dangerous sea nymphs with beautiful voices” and 62% just aren’t interested in helping “mount an effort to battle a giant sea witch in possession of a young mermaid princess’ voice.”

We couldn’t possibly imagine why.

Things got more bizarre when Virgin Cruises asked which famous ship 18-24 year olds would most like to travel – 34% said the Titanic, which makes us think that they might have missed the ending of the film.

28% would opt for a jaunt on the Black Pearl, which we think sounds a whole lot more raucous and interesting.  

A Pirates of the Caribbean themed cruise would go down as well as a sinking ship, though – less than 19% would enjoy such an excursion, apparently, although 72% would be up for a Star Wars themed cruise and 62% expressed a desire to go sailing with the undead... of course.

Beyonce comes out top as the person 18-24 year olds would most like to go on a cruise with (47%), whilst Andy Murray (unsurprisingly) would be 47% of people’s dream tennis instructor and David Guetta (34%) the ship’s most popular DJ.  

You’d have your meals cooked by Jamie Oliver, the choice of 34% of 18-24 year olds, would share a cabin with Ant & Dec (36%), and would send Justin Bieber and Kerry Katona (26% each) back to shore on a dingy – closely followed by the entire cast of Made in Chelsea and TOWIE (23%).

We can’t say we blame you there.

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