Google Glasses: pretty cool or pretty bloody dangerous?
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Have you seen those Google glasses? I have and I love them but then I also don’t love them. There’s an advert for them knocking about (below). It’s worth a watch, mainly because I'm going to spend the next paragraph or so picking it apart so it’d be quite nice for you to see what I'm going on about. It’d be quite nice for both of us. Together. You and I. The advert isn’t the best. It’s all from the glasses wearer's POV (something the porn industry will no doubt get involved with very soon). We’ll start from the start. From what I can tell, the man in the advert is wearing the glasses as he wakes up. Not really sure what’s going on there but we’ll let that go for now. There are a couple of things regarding the general appearance of Google Glasses which I’m not overly fond of. The little screen thing (not sure if that’s the technical term) is in front of the right eye. Well, that’s a bit of an issue already. I’ve got a dodgy right eye which can’t see much of anything at all. Can the screen be changed to the left eye, Google? Also, if you can do that, does that mean that my right eye is now my only means of vision? Because that wouldn’t work very well at all. Does this mean I can’t be involved in the glasses? You know what; I didn’t want to be anyway, how about that? I have to wear regular glasses so I’m assuming I’d have to chuck the Google ones on over them? I feel like enough of a knob doing that with the 3D ones in a dark cinema where no one can see me besides my girlfriend and the man who sometimes follows me into cinemas and sits in front of me watching me instead of the film. Are you expecting me to stroll down the street in broad daylight with two bloody pairs of glasses on? I’ll be a laughing stock. For shame, Google. For shame. Right, what happens next in the advert? He pisses about with a dog for a bit. Not sure if you need the glasses for that bit but all the same, it looked alright. He tries to get the subway somewhere (somewhere which doesn’t look very far away if I’m honest) but luckily, his glasses conveniently warn him that it’s closed when he’s five feet from the entrance. A warning some time before he walked all the way to the station would have maybe worked out for everyone a little better, but there we go. Some other stuff happens then he heads over to a bookshop. Not sure why there would be any need to go to a bookshop in the first place if you have “everything” in your glasses (including Google Books I imagine?). Are you telling me your glasses can tell you that the subway is delayed the second it detects you walking towards it but doesn’t have any tips on the ukulele? Also, within six seconds of entering said bookshop, he asks his spectacles where the music section is. It is, from what we can see, quite a small bookshop so he probably should have just looked around. I know what you’re thinking; that’s the bloody hide-and-seek industry down the toilet isn’t it? Honestly, just look for the bloody music section. It’s not that hard. Or is this Google’s way of telling us that the glasses obstruct your brain as well as your vision? Anyway, he then meets his mate, they have a coffee, and then he instructs his specs to tell all his mates that he is having a coffee at that specific location because it’s important that everyone knows when you’re having a coffee. He then notices some graffiti and advises his glasses to take a picture of it, which was pretty cool if I’m honest. Although after that he prompts aforementioned eyewear to share it with his Google Circles, which was, in my opinion, the least realistic thing of the whole advert. Not one person in the history of sharing has made the decision that Google Circles is the first place they should post their new interesting picture. If it’s a real showstopper, Instagram is probably the place for it. Although the Instagrammers of this world can be a tricky bunch to please so there’s every chance that it won’t get much love. If you find yourself in that position then you most likely post it on Twitter. If no one has replied to/retweeted you within a couple minutes you chuck it on Facebook. If it’s not really getting any likes/comments on there then you have to make the tricky choice between logging into your untouched-for-four-years Myspace/Bebo and putting it on there. Once you’ve realised that you don’t remember the login details of either of those, only then might you start to slightly consider that Google Circles might potentially be the place for it. It’ll soon occur to you that nobody you know uses Google Circles and it was all a colossal waste of time but still, at least all the strangers walking around you just heard you tell your glasses that you’re a user. They’ll be impressed. And if there’s one thing you want to make sure you do in this life, its impress strangers. That was about it for the advert. It ended with him playing a lovely song to a lady-friend on the ukulele (which he seemingly learned to play in between a full day of taking pictures/drinking coffee?!) while showing her a lovely view of New York City. It was a nice moment. Kind of weird how he learnt the ukulele that day and was already playing it without looking, but there we go.
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