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Why I hate the Great British Bake Off


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There, I said it. I don’t like The Great British Bake Off. Whilst over 11 million of you were glued to your TV screens on Wednesday night ogling over sugar and Mary Berry, I wasn’t. I took myself off somewhere quiet to reflect on the madness that is literally a group of strangers baking in a massive tent.

To put it simply, I just don’t get it. Why is such a large portion of the entire nation fixated by the concept of watching people bake? What is that makes the show such a success?

It’s not that I don’t like it because it’s popular, before I get accused of trying to be all hipster. Firstly I don’t like Mel and Sue, individually or together. I’ve not met either of them (I’m sure they are both equally lovely) but if I were to bake then I’m pretty sure the last thing I would need is two annoyingly happy and bouncy people asking me questions as I went along. And please don’t touch my food, somebody has to eat that afterwards.

What is up with the puns? Seriously, how many are needed?

I don’t particularly like Paul or Mary either, again nothing against either of them personally, but if someone didn’t eat the entire of my creation I’d be pretty livid. Especially if they told me it wasn’t good enough.

The tent: some would argue there is nothing more British than a tent, I’d argue it’s just budget cuts. I think we can all admit deep down that they originally wanted to film the inside the stately home before realising the money wasn’t quite there so they decided to erect a massive marquee instead. One day we can hope it blows away, leaving Paul, Mary and the female Chuckle Brothers to chase it off into the distance, only then the puns will change from soggy bottoms to big blows.

And how long have we got to put up with this? 10 whole weeks? I don’t even have to watch it to know what’s happening, Twitter essentially becomes a #GBBO live blog.

It may be a crime to not like the show, and I might not be a lot of help when asked who was the seventh person to cry in the history of The Great British Bake Off at a pub quiz or worse, a citizenship test, but I’ll find other ways to enjoy my Wednesday evenings. Probably.

Have your cake and eat it.  

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