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Every one of the X- Factor shows since the dawn of time has been a crime against my eyeballs earballs and ball..erm..balls. This year has been the year that the show finally caved in and crapped all over its hairy legs. With an all new "judge" line-up, bar Louis ( the turd that won’t flush) we were set for an underwhelming rubbish season. There were groups getting split up to form other groups, solo singers being pooled together to form a group, people leaving and people getting fired. Yes Frankie I am looking at you.
He even got cut of the M&S Christmas ad. Although the fact he was ever representing old-granny-firm M&S at all worried me. I don’t think I will ever eat from their range of chicken breasts again, just in case Frankie has rubbed himself all over them, hair, skinny jeans and all. I don’t want to be tucking in to a succulent chicken kiev, only to discover one of Frankie’s wiry hairs nestled in the fat folds.
Other acts shouted and screamed their way through sets, some better than others but ultimately none were going to be the next Lady Gaga/Rihanna were they? Come on, really. Were they? Really? Really? No.
The whole show was a mess, a farce and a problem. Everyone has seen this before (several years running in fact) so switching up the judges, the contestants and format was considered ‘edgy’. It wasn’t. It was tiresome. Yawnsome. Welcome to Yawnville. The ‘judges’ didn’t really judge as such - just moan and groan about each other and then continue to discuss what a ‘journey’ the contestants have been on. Towards the end even Kelly Rowland had had enough and called in with the best ‘sick voice’ I’ve heard on live television. ‘*Snuffle sniffle sshhhlrrrruuup* Hi y’all, I just couldn’t make it today I *cough* I wanted to *cough* I have let you all down *snuffle sniffle*’ Funniest bit of X Factor all year.

The whole show was a mess, a farce and a problem. Everyone has seen this before (several years running in fact) so switching up the judges, the contestants and format was considered ‘edgy’. It wasn’t. It was tiresome. Yawnsome. Welcome to Yawnville. The ‘judges’ didn’t really judge as such - just moan and groan about each other and then continue to discuss what a ‘journey’ the contestants have been on. Towards the end even Kelly Rowland had had enough and called in with the best ‘sick voice’ I’ve heard on live television. ‘*Snuffle sniffle sshhhlrrrruuup* Hi y’all, I just couldn’t make it today I *cough* I wanted to *cough* I have let you all down *snuffle sniffle*’ Funniest bit of X Factor all year.
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