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New student political group wants to restore ‘British culture’

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On the day that Article 50 was triggered a new student political group announced its campaign to advance British values in a “new era of brilliant Britishness.”

Students for the Restoration of Undervalued British Culture (SRUBC) emerged from Conservative groups at several UK universities and announced their ‘crusade to stamp out non-British cultural elements and restore a golden age of British culture’ in a press conference in a sport equipment shed outside Warwick University on Wednesday morning.

Morris Dancing

The group believe that the problems in our society has come from multi-culturalism, immigrants and feminists who have eroded the traditions of Britain such Morris dancing, cheese rolling, caravanning, welly wanging and wassailing.

Leader of SRUBC Tarquin Pharl told The National Student: “For too long Britishness has been sidelined by liberals, foreigners and people who enjoy hip hop. Now is the time to take our country back, it’s happened politically and now we need to do it culturally. I mean what exactly is wrong with Morris dancing? I am not saying we need to bring back Witch Burning, although it would cull some feminists, but we need to restore our greatness.

“As the great leader Nigel Farage has said this is our Independence Day, and we need to drive out all the non-British elements ruining this great nation.”

The group also announced a six and a half point plan to restore university life to normal including the dissolution of all feminist, non-Christian religious and foreign focused student societies. The half point is due to a disagreement aboutwhether Welsh people count as foreigners.

“We can’t have people like women, foreigners and people who believe in false Gods having a say on campus any more. Look where it’s got us, you can’t even comment on how nice women’s bums are any more, or make fun of Muslims openly. The world’s gone mad,” explained Pharl on their controversial proposal.

Other points include introducing a compulsory morning assembly at universities with a new morning prayer penned by Nigel Farage and a swearing of allegiance to the flag, and adding the line ‘under God’ to all official documentation.

SRUBC have also released a new series of educational pamphlets for school-children and students to forward their cause including ‘The problem with reggae’, ‘The joys of wassailing’, ‘We’re not racist, but...’ and ‘The problem with letting women speak.’

The group are set to publish their full manifesto online in the coming weeks and plan to start a national campaign to control 80% of student’s unions in the UK by the end of 2018.




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