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Students at which university are most likely to get it on with their lecturers?

10th April 2014
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Well, this is a survey that we didn’t expect to drop into our inbox today.

Student ‘dating’ (hmm, is that really how you’re describing yourself?) site Shag at Uni has asked over 1,700 of its members whether they’ve ever fantasised about getting it on with a lecturer – and whether this particular fantasy has ever actually come true.

The site is also claiming that it has the answer to the question that we’ve all been asking: which lecturers, at which university, are the most likely to be the target of students’ lustful attentions?

(As a side note, we’d probably take their ‘findings’ with a very large pinch of salt. And a slight warning over libel claims.)

Apparently, over half of the students surveyed (54%) have confessed to being sexually attracted to their lecturers.

And within this horny bunch, one fifth have confessed to “acting on” their feelings.

Whatever Shag at Uni would lead us to believe, whether this has led to genuine illicit passion or (more likely?) just extremely awkward morning tutorials for evermore we don’t know.

However, of the respondents who admitted having sexy feelings towards a lecturer, 61% confessed to indulging in ‘flirtatious behaviour’ and 19% said that the relationship had advanced further than just flirtation, to “sexual contact” – translated as “any physical contact ranging from hugs and kisses to full sexual intercourse.”

Yes, that’s right – “hugs” are classed as sexual contact now. Saucy!

According to Shag at Uni, it’s English lecturers and those teaching at The University of Sussex that are most likely to find themselves (willingly or not, we might add) embroiled in a student lust situation.

So – what evidence has led Shag at Uni to make the fairly bold claim that, lifted directly from their press release, “lecturers at Sussex University (are) most likely to engage in sexual activity with students”?

Apparently, they’ve seen a “recent increase in the number of university lecturers and members of staff joining the site” – which seems a bit odd, considering it’s supposed to be for students.

As a result, they decided to uncover the truth (cough) about student/lecturer relationships and “identify the lecturers that are most likely to act on attractions according to what subjects they teach and where they are based in the UK.”

We’d translate this as “identify the lecturers that are most likely to be pursued by horny students, according to what subjects they teach and where they are based in the UK,” rather than suggesting that the Sussex University English Department is full of professors out for a bit of student flesh.

Still, how extremely controversial of Shag at Uni to suggest that such a thing might happen! In the manner of a literary heroine – pass us the smelling salts, we just can’t take it.

The results were analysed according to location, in order to establish which universities in the UK are home to the most student and lecturer relationships/flirtations/brief shags/fabricated infatuations.

Shag at Uni says: “Evaluating the respondents who had confessed to sexual contact with a lecturer, the UK universities where students are most likely to act upon their affections for their lecturers were revealed as follows:

1. Sussex - 14%

2. Edinburgh - 12%

3.  Cardiff Metropolitan - 10%

4.  Worcester - 8%

5.  Leeds Metropolitan - 7%

6.  Kingston - 6%

7.  Nottingham Trent - 5%

8.  Bath Spa - 5%

9.  Oxford - 3%

10. De Montfort - 2%

“All participants who confessed to being sexually attracted to a lecturer,” they continue, “were asked to disclose the main subject which they were responsible for teaching at the university. The top five subjects taught by lecturers students found attractive emerged as follows:

1.       English- 12%

2.       Music- 9%

3.       Business- 7%

4.       Science- 4%

5.       History- 3%.”

Tom Thurlow, creator of Shag at Uni, believes that “The fact that English teachers emerged as the most likely to develop sexual feelings or relationships with their students certainly makes sense if you consider the fact that those who teach English are likely to be well-read and able to recite romantic poetry to their students at the drop of hat. Who is going to be more attractive to an 18-year-old student than someone older and in a position of power?”

Romantic poetry recitals? Hmm. It seems to us that he might be stretching the “I once gave my lecturer an inappropriate hug because I couldn’t stop imagining what was underneath his tweed lapels and then got carried away thinking about it” narrative that is actually suggested by the survey a little bit far.

He continued by claiming that: “everybody knows at least one student who has been attracted to a lecturer at their university, so why should it be so shocking to find out that relationships are formed when lecturers also develop these feelings towards their pretty young students? Yes it might be controversial and frowned upon to engage in a student/teacher relationship, but if we are talking about two willing and consenting adults, no damage is really being done.”

Well, we feel enlightened by this. We hope you do too. Now, feel free to go back to daydreaming about your poetry lecturer reciting Keats to you (yeah, ok) – but probably don’t actually shag them. Because, as anyone who has ever watched Fresh Meat knows, that could open up a whole can of incestuous worms.

The National Student is dedicated to promoting safe sex. Click here to get a free Chlamydia test, delivered discreetly and quickly, which you can carry out yourself before posting back.

 

 

 

 

 

 




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