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The dynamics behind the 'one gift rule'


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When you look at it so black-and-white, the celebrity couple are probably not far wrong.

It's a pretty obvious claim that if a child is spoiled by their grandparent(s), they'll likely start to appreciate less what they have and what they've received. 

I can't really relate to this claim. Not because I've never been spoiled, but because I was the sort of child that loved each gift the same as the last (or at least that's how I remember it).

I remember one Christmas stumbling down the stairs to be greeted by a settee layered in gifts that left me dumbfounded and in tears.

Grandparents are always going to spoil their grandkids. That's just an immutable law. I'm not sure what the reason for this is, but one grandmother told the BBC that it's an "emotional thing", while others say grandparents are simply on more of a level with their grandkids in the sense that they are "grown-up kids", and should be allowed to spoil them.

Flooding your grandchildren with an unreasonable amount of presents, however, may contribute to the significant detriment of their pyshce, with psychologists claiming that excessive gifts emphasise the child's focus on the gifts rather than the qualities in giving and sharing. 

We all knew someone that was spoiled as a child. They were normally characterised as always wanting their own way but being left in a state of confusion when they couldn't.  These people have grown up, leaving that want for their own way less clear now, but still possessing the spoiled attitude they had as a result of unhampered birthdays and Christmases.

Although, being spoilt on certain occasions by your parents doesn't necessarily mean that your child is going to turn into some sort of immoral devil-child. 

Qualities of giving and sharing, and other things that make us genuine people shouldn't just be practiced at certain times of the year. 

In this respect, it's slightly hypocritical to remove the joy that grandparents get in spoiling their grandkids, just so you can intermittently teach your child some values. 

Equally, though, I can understand the way in which such actions from grandparents would undermine the whole values you try to teach your child.

Ultimately, imposing your views on already grown-up and experienced individuals is fairly patronising, and in a way arbitrary considering we choose what are good and bad values.

There should be a mutual understanding and agreement between both parent and grandparent, that displays equal respect and works in harmony for the betterment of the child. 



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