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Why we should ban gay marriage

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Same sex marriage was legalised in the U.K. back in 2014, to much happiness and feelings of 'finally' within the LGBTQ+ community. But here are 10 reasons that never should have happened.

1. Religious figures are against it

We have heard time and time again, from religious figures of all walks of life, how much being gay is a sin. A multitude of religious texts have warned against it.

Take, for instance, The Bible, in which Adam and Eve are the first people God created. There was no mention of an Adam and Steve. Or an Eve and Abigail. And we all know that everything that happened in the Bible (and The Qur'an, and The Tanakh, etc. etc.) is real and definitely actually completely did happen.

2. It's not natural

Two people of the same gender being together just isn't the norm and isn't widely seen on TV or in film, making it unacceptable. And we all know that this society does not like anything unnatural, rejecting things such as polyester, eyeglasses, air conditioning, etc.

3. Seeing gay marriage will make others gay

You know, in the same way being around tall people makes you tall. Or the fact that every straight couple out there raises only straight kids.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful 

The sanctity of straight marriage will be destroyed if gay couples can get married. For example, the sanctity of Kim Kardashian's 72-day marriage will be dismantled.

5. Marriage is only to produce children

Marriage isn't about just being with the person you love! And every single straight couple that gets married only has sex to have children, not to have fun. This is why old couples aren't allowed to get married, infertile couples aren't allowed to get married, and adoption doesn't exist. 

6. Children won't get a healthy upbringing without a father and a mother

This is also the reason we don't let single parents raise kids, in case you were wondering.

7. It causes confusion

Changing the law like this and allowing gay couples to be openly gay in public can be confusing to children or older people who won't be used to seeing such obvious homosexuality. And as a society, we aren't good at adapting to new things, like cars, the service-sector or mobile phones.

8. It will open the door for other crazy behaviour

Such as people wanting to marry their pets, because we all know a dog has legal standing in a court of law and can sign a marriage contract.

9. It's not traditional

Straight marriage has been around for centuries and is so traditional it hasn't changed at all: woman are still property, interracial marriage isn't allowed and divorce is illegal.

10. Gay people are just in a phase

LGBTQ+ people are only going through a phase and they will grow out of it. Allowing them to get married will only cause more divorce and unhappiness in the world.

By now I hope you've realised the intended sarcasm behind this article.

Of course, gay marriage should be legal. And the fact that it hasn't always been is truly devastating. Marriage is a basic human right and anyone who argues against this makes my head hurt.

This post was made in good humour and was an attempt to allow the straight people that are against gay marriage to see why some of their possible views on the matter are actually not very sensible at all.

This is, of course, a wide issue and just because gay marriage is legal in the U.K. and many other western countries does not mean that this is the case around the world. My heart goes out to people in the community living in a country that is making them afraid to come out and be themselves.

The very reason I can make a post like this about the bizarre ideology some people hold against gay marriage is because I am safe and living in an open country. And to those who aren't, please know that you are not alone. We are here for you, and we are fighting to make the entire world a safer place.




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