Why The Telegraph's '11 things girls should avoid doing in freshers' week' is a load of rubbish
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Freshers’ week advice articles, of course, are everywhere at the moment. A quick Google search can provide you with answers to all those questions that are currently burning a hole in your brain: how will you make FRIENDS? What should you SAY when you’ve found some potential ones? Will you SURVIVE freshers’ week? We’d just hazard a guess at, well, yes. Because a week of small talk, Blu-Tacking up posters, form-signing and (probably) drinking isn’t actually going to be that taxing. Honestly. Still, when the entire internet is bombarding you with freshers’ related nuggets of wisdom, it can be hard to filter the metaphorical wheat from the chaff. Thank goodness, then, for The Telegraph, which yesterday published what must be an absolutely definitive list of freshers’ week don’ts. Just for girls, though. (Because boys have it all sorted...?) ‘11 things girls should avoid doing in freshers’ week’ is an enlightening read. Also, it’s kind of infuriating. So, female freshers of world, here’s what The Telegraph’s ‘Wonder Women’ advise you don’t do in the next couple of weeks... because you don’t want to “make the same mistakes” that they did. 1. Sexual confession drinking games are a load of lies. So most people are lying over Never Have I Ever, out of fear of being outed as the only university-aged virgin left on planet earth. Whilst we agree that it’s not a great idea to start your university career by spewing an unlikely story about that time you had sex with half a football team on the roof (or whatever your dubious lie of choice), we do think that a little bit of over-exaggeration is expected in freshers’ week. Everyone wants to fit in and appear enthusiastic/adventurous/independent - so don’t judge others if you feel their stories are a bit far-fetched. We’re sure you’ll bend the truth slightly at some point, without it becoming a pathological condition. We’re all human, and with plentiful alcohol and the pressures that the week brings you’re probably going to slip up. Don’t judge yourself too harshly when you do. 2. You do not need to behave like a lad to get friends. Oh hey, Telegraph! We have a revelation that might surprise you: some girls like ‘crude banter’/’funnel drinking.’ Maybe some girls EVEN like rugby, or are willing to make an effort to be interested in it (even though it isn’t something a young lady should really be seen to enjoy) because university is a place where you can discover new things/people and, you know, widen your pool of interests from sitting around having chaste conversations whilst drinking chardonnay and complaining about boring old sports being on TV. 3. Club initiations will seem like fun at the time... We’d agree that you probably don’t want to spend three years around people who are “trying to get you drunk and naked”, but you’ll probably realise this yourself. You’re adults now and are hopefully capable of making your own decisions. If you want to partake in some naked/scantily clad jelly wrestling, go for it. Chances are, if you’re determined to be initiated into a uni drinking society being told that it’s “not a great idea” by The Telegraph isn’t going to put you off. 4. Please stay away from all beauty pageants, especially the ones which demand the winner to get naked. ...because it’ll forever haunt you via Facebook/YouTube/Twitter/Instagram/the internet in general. Although we actually think that throughout your university career potentially worse things than you being crowned ‘Miss Uni 2014’ might crop up on your news feed on booze-hazy weekend mornings. As a side note – do university beauty pageants actually exist? If they genuinely do, fair enough. We didn’t know they were a thing. 5. Beware of mock essay deadline panic.
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