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Boris Johnson - London's Bad Supply Teacher


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We’ve all been there; when the usual teacher is off sick there is always that one supply teacher who you hope is going to stroll through the classroom door about five minutes late.

They’re usually funny, you might even get to watch a film but ultimately from a learning point of view they are completely useless.

Unfortunately for Londoners, Boris Johnson is London’s bad supply teacher.

Approaching every issue that he encounters with shocking naivety, he has blundered his way into a second term as London’s Mayor.

This tight victory seemed more down to the fact that there were no other viable candidates. Ken Livingstone has already had his time as mayor, if Labour were to win this one they would have had to have put forward a fresh face. It didn’t help that Livingstone seemed to be campaigning purely on the cost of transport. Admittedly, the average London does worry about things such as the price of a bus journey, but issues such as the Olympics, issues with the MET and the recent riots may have given his campaign the gravitas it needed.

There were candidates such as independent Siobhan Benita who ran an astonishing campaign and apparently changing the minds of everyone who she had contact with, but she could never have won without the financial backing of one of the main three political parties.

This left Boris and his clumsy charm a clear path to victory. Some may think that my assessment of Boris is slightly harsh, no doubt they will also be people who find him charming, but let me ask you this, what has he actually done for London?

There were the bendy buses. Everyone knows about the bendy buses. That was how he got elected in the first place. A promise to rid the streets of London of a driver’s worst nightmare which was upheld, there are now no more bendy buses on the streets of London. A pretty good result for people who drive in London, but when you think about this from a monetary point of view it becomes slightly troubling. However scary it is to drive beside one on a roundabout, a bendy bus means for each driver there is fifty percent more passengers. This creates money which could be spent on things better than making drivers slightly more relaxed on the way to work.

He has also pushed for the strange bicycles that are lined up in a perpetual state of redundancy. I dread to think how much work and money went into that plan because apparently Boris is the only person in this city who uses them. The majority are sat with flat tyres and rusty chains, their only effect being on people with limited vision as a hazard inexplicably placed on the pavement.

In his defence Johnson has done things that have been well received by the people of London. He has dealt reasonably well with the Olympics, but this has mainly been because he has stayed well out of the way and let people who know better orchestrate proceedings. He also introduced the ‘no drinking on public transport policy’, something which is going to make everyone’s journey slightly more pleasant. Unfortunately for him people largely ignored this and it actually resulted in a tube drinking party on the last night it was legal.

Much like that bad supply teacher Boris Johnson tries hard, but ultimately to no avail. He has done very little for the city and what he has tried has failed. He is an incredibly charming man and that has won him a second term, but one must ask how much longer this will go on for. He is in charge of the capital city of the United Kingdom, and appears to have absolutely no idea what he is doing. I hate to been the keen child in the class who says to the bad supply teacher “are we actually going to do any work?”, but Boris, are you actually going to do any work?

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