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Women, what's wrong with you?

26th April 2012

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I was shocked to read in the Metro this morning that brides-to-be are now spending more money on pre-wedding cosmetic treatments than they are on their dress.

According to Metro, one in 10 has had either botox or a boob job, and more than 50% would consider veneers – even though they cost £750 per tooth.

It seems to me that £750 could be put to better use in the honeymoon fund.

Last year’s royal wedding is being given as a reason behind the spike in pre-nupital surgery, which has seen brides make up as much as 30% of customers at some cosmetic practitioners.

One of them, Antonia Mariconda, said the trend is because “there is no way to hide bad skin or teeth”.

She also talks about the rising numbers of men going under the knife: “There is no point in the bride looking a dream,” she says, “if the man on her arm has wonky teeth and wrinkles.”

TNS finds this more than a little bit depressing.

Come on now. We all know that natural flaws make women (and men!) endearing and approachable and above all human. It’s a bit sad, to try to give up looking like yourself. Especially when that means having black marker 'cut' lines drawn all over your naked body and then getting your boob split open with a big sharp knife before having a synthetic alien material stuffed in there, or having Botulinum toxin injected into your face. The clue is in the word toxin.

Your fiancé likes you enough to be marrying you. Yes, despite your wonky front tooth and larger than average bum. And yes, I know that if you have surgery you’ll be doing it for yourself, not for a man, blah blah. But the real issue is that you should like yourself enough the way you are, too. Because honestly, you’re alright. Really.

(Remember when Mark Darcy liked Bridget just the way she was? TNS does. It was a good moment.)

Now, embrace your fat hands (yes, ‘hand lift’ is a real procedure; brides are worried about the close-up ring finger shots) and the slightly wrinkly skin around your eyes. It probably means you’ve laughed a lot, stayed up too late drinking vino and fallen asleep without taking your make-up off. It’s probably the reason why you’ve made someone happy and secure enough to want to marry you in the first place. I’m sure you’d choose that too, in the long-term, over a character-less Barbie-esque sheen.

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