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Nauseating times for Republicans


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I really can’t think of anything on this planet more repulsive than the swooning over our dear royal family. Though I do have some respect for our current monarch, who fulfils her limited role with dignity and quietly goes about her business, the rest of the merry gang are a hapless bunch.

Royal FamilyQueen Elizabeth’s oaf of a husband for example always raises a smile, especially when he said to Paraguayan dictator Alfredo Stroesser ‘It’s a pleasant change to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people’ or telling a British student in China ‘If you stay here much longer, you will go home with slitty eyes’. As well as our heir to the throne who professes a staggering ignorance on many matters, his support for homeopathy for example, and his constant meddling in political affairs which well exceeds his power as a member of the royal family, which will lead to a constitutional crises when (or if) he ascends to the throne.

But never mind the old biddies, what about the young bucks that have breathed new life into this decaying order, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge; the golden couple. Watching news reports of them walking around waving at people is like having syrup poured into your eyes and ears, whilst the reporter utters how lovely Kate looks and how much they love each other, one can see how organised religion began, looking at the worshipping of non-entities such as these two. Their wedding was eerily similar to a funeral of a Soviet premier, hordes of deluded people gathered to see a wedding of a couple who happened to be born to the right people whilst we were ordered to love them by a fawning media. Never mind the fact that known Bahraini torturers went to the wedding, look at Kate’s dress, and Pippa’s bottom!

Last year was a hideous time for us republicans (not the mad American political party, people who believe we are better served without a monarchy). This year can only be worse, its Queen Elizabeth’s 60th anniversary, time to break out the flags and the awful tea towel and plate sets. It also happens to be the 15th anniversary of when this country was briefly overrun by mindless zombies weeping over the death of a vapid, dour former princess; now holy saint Diana, worshipped the same way Kim Il-Sung is.

Monarchy comes from a different age, from a time where hunch-backed peasants thought the earth was a few thousand years old and their sole purpose in life was to till the fields for their lords and masters. It comes from a time when the British subjugated a quarter of the planet.

Monarchy simply has no place in a civil society anymore. Why should we bow to such people just for having the right genes? Why do they deserve our admiration? It is an insult to a society that wants to be democratic (but isn’t quite yet) that we still have in place a hereditary head of state, the sham has gone on long enough.

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