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A petition has been started to get Alex Turner from AM to remove his beard


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Many artists seemed to have started 2018 as confused: Yeezy is on some sort of downward trajectory and The 1975 have recently told us to take moment to inquire about our online relationships.

However one thing that has overshadowed the rest, is the return of Sheffield outfit Arctic Monkeys… and the beard.Press, artists, fans and Twitter accounts all looked at the cover of “Tranquillity Base & Hotel Casino” with utter awe.

The boys are back, music shall be saved. But alas, there was Alex’s little monster, the beard (and slightly goatee-ish stubble) on his face that caused slight worry and distrust of the situation at hand.

More questions have been asked about Alex’s midlife crisis beard than what the actual music will sound like in the new LP. The band have firmly denied any pre-release of tracks until May 11, when the album is to be released, changing their marketing strategy. All we have to go on is his beard and the matching suits, until NME reported of a petition on begun by Eabha Lynn, petitioning to ‘Banish the Beard!’ from Alex’s face for the rest of time.  

The petition describes that Alex had the opportunity to “age like fine wine”, saying that if we all had to get over the bombshell beauty that is Alexa Chung, surely we would all grow horrific beards as a healing process? Right? Wrong. It’s “visually unappealing, its ginger colour strikes you - and not in a good way” and he is simply defying genetics because they “did not give him the opportunity to look good with a beard". Someone needed to say what we’re all thinking.

But apart from visual aesthetics, Lynn knows the fans care about the melting-pot vocal chords of his, delivering us the promise of a new and symbolic record. What if the beard stops him from pursuing his goal? “If this beard keeps growing, will us fans even be able to hear that voice from behind the beard?” – at the time of writing, 2,978 fans are this concerned.

NME reported that Alex has officially replied to the petition in an interview with German publication “Intro” saying that he had no idea, “but it amuses me”. In classic Alex fashion, he finds it “unbelievable that that people are so interested in hairstyles and stuff.” Stuff definitely means unwanted goatees.

You can sign the petition here to help Alex banish his beard.

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