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Listen to this Valentine's playlist if you're bitter


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If there's one thing that single people have mastered when it comes to Valentine's Day, it's the art of pretending they don't have a fuck to give.

"PDA? Disgusting. Wow, look at that couple over there holding hands. That looks sweaty. Nobody deserves me. I'm incredible. I love sleeping alone in a double bed, there's so much space! The day after Valentine's Day is the best because all the chocolate is discounted and I can use it to fill the empty space where my heart should be... it's all a social construct! Capitalism!"

Sound familiar? Now, this is top secret information, but most of the time this is just a façade. It's the barrier put up by people who have been royally. fucked. over. Loved-up couples only make them feel sick because they're salty about it, but don't want to seem like they're clingy and, god forbid, still have the feels. We all have this wavey "I'm so chill" act we have to play now, don't we? Psycho ex is never a great look. But when you're alone in your bedroom, you can be as salty as you like.

So, if you need a playlist to scream to on Valentine's Day as you take a lighter to a photograph of your ex... look no further...

We Are The In Crowd - The Best Thing (That Never Happened)

Screamable lyric: "You'll crack just like the rest when I break your fucking jaw"

This is possibly the best post-break-up song, especially when you were never officially with that person in the first place. We Are The In Crowd's pop-punk track is timeless. Assert your self importance, let them know what they've missed out on and scream along to that lyric about breaking jaws.

Dua Lipa - IDGAF

Screamable lyric: "Your time is up I'll tell you why, I'LL TELL YOU WHY!"

This song probably sums up the whole meaning behind this playlist. You don't give a fuck, or at least you'd like to act like you don't. So sure, Dua is in that lovely (and incredibly ego-boosting) position of her ex actually realising they've messed up and have come back on their knees, but her message of independence and letting go pushes through. Another song that proves love. ain't. shit.

The Aces - Physical

Screamable lyric: "Lately, you told me you love me, you don't"

The Aces perfectly encapsulate that (usually temporary) "yeah well I never liked you anyway" feeling we all get in 'Physical' which romanticises but empowers the it was just sex and I absolutely have no feelings relationship.

Anteros - Cherry Drop

Screamable lyric: "Lying, lie, lie, lying"

Have you been cheated on? Are you sick of people's shit? Have you been lied to? Do you like songs with lots of sugary puns? Grab a lollipop as a microphone and look no further than 'Cherry Drop'.

Mabel - Begging

Screamable lyric: "I wanna see you on your knees, wanna see you begging"

Again, like Dua, Mabel is in that position of actually being apologised to. Who knew people did that? But the message is clear: take no shit, make them work for it, you're okay on your own.

Charli XCX - Sucker

Screamable lyric: "Fuck you, sucker!"

Charli XCX isn't even salty on 'Sucker'. It's just straight up 'fuck you', the post-bitter level we all aspire to. Let's forget she even did 'Boys' and channel this pop princess as an independent idol.

Beyoncé - Sorry

Screamable lyric: "Suck on my balls"

"Tell him boy, bye" with 'Sorry', the big explosive track on Lemonade where Beyonce finally torments her cheating husband. There's a fair few important lyrics through this: "I ain't thinking 'bout you", "middles fingers up, put them hands high", "today I regret the night I put that ring on"... the list could go on. The ultimate anthem for the fucked over.

GIRLI - Hot Mess

Screamable lyric: "I don't know who you think I am, but your bitch is not one"

This song was originally directed at Girli's team, but the lyrics also work under an anti-Valentine's context. Don't change yourself for anyone.

Nina Nesbitt - Mr C

Screamable lyric: "I've come to the conclusion you're quite fit, but I'm under no illusion you're a dick"

Co-written with Lily Allen ('Fuck You' would also be a great addition to your playlist), you can imagine the general tone of this track... and what 'C' stands for. Aimed at mummy's boys who think they can get any girl because they've got a nice car, it just proves that money can't buy you everything - including a relationship... and a personality.

Shania Twain - That Don't Impress Me Much

Screamable lyric: "Okay, so you're Brad Pitt. That don't impress me much, uh uh uhhhhhhhh" - obviously.

Would this list be complete without this anthem? Does it even need explaining? Keep your standards high, girl. For triple girl power, check Haim's cover.

Little Mix - Shout Out To My Ex

Screamable lyric: "You'll never bring me down"

Little Mix came out last year with possibly the ultimate uplifting song for the newly singles. It's about not necessarily regretting previous relationships, but learning and growing from them. Thank your ex for everything they've taught you about what you don't want, and kill 'em with kindness.

Jerry Williams - I'm Not In Love With You

Screamable lyric: "I want the love you see on TV screens"

Leaving a relationship where you're just not ~feeling~ it anymore is totally okay. This song by Jerry Williams explores that in a pretty upbeat manner, making it not seem too sad and scary. Get back out there and look for that kind of love you see in the movies.

Hailee Steinfeld - Love Myself

Screamable lyric: "I love me"

Yes! The most important person is yourself. Keep yourself happy, and love yourself. You don't need another half when you're one whole incredible person. While relationships can come and go you'll always be stuck with yourself. So this Valentine's Day, treat yourself... and in keeping with the theme of this song, get yourself down to Ann Summers.

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