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People share their hilariously non-scary stories from working in haunted houses

28th October 2016

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Haunted houses are a bit of a love-them-or-hate-them kinda thing.

Some people simply jump at the chance to spend their hard-earned money on being made to feel alone, terrified and moments away from having an *accident*. Others do not wish to do that.

But whatever your stance, there’s no denying that some of these real-life stories – submitted by Reddit users who’ve worked in some form of haunted house or experience – really take the edge off the scare factor and are actually just plain funny.

Haunted house

Enjoy …

VikingRabies: “I was a talking head on a table. A group of five people led by a girl comes into my room and when they get close to me I say ‘hello’ fairly nonchalantly.

“The girl in front screams and falls backwards with a domino effect taking everyone else in her group with her. I became a laughing head on a table.”

Darrenyankj: “Was a faceless hood trying to scare people from behind the curtains, but didn’t hear them approaching, so I didn’t manage to pop out to scare them.

“They pulled open the curtains and asked me which way the exit was. It was both humiliating and amusing.”

Everybodysheardabout: “I helped out with family-friendly Halloween walk a few years back, mostly involved sitting in a bush and letting some of the kids walk a little passed me before making some kind of sound in the middle of the group.

“However for the parents I would always moan ‘university costs are rising – oooooOOOoooOoo!’”

Sploom17: “I was the chainsaw murderer or something like that and I had a real electric chainsaw but with a rubber/fake chain.

“I jumped up at one girl who was by herself but I got no response so I thought damn didn’t get her. I look away for a few seconds to see if someone else was coming and she was on the floor fainted and pooped herself.”

NeverEnoughMuppets: “We had a guy who would chase after you with a chainsaw (chain removed) after you left the house. You know, just run after you a few steps when you came out the door.

“Well, one time these two girls came out and I swear to God, one of the girls just had like an extreme panic response and I guess her body chose fight over flight.

“She literally chased the guy down while he was yelling “I’m just kidding! It’s just a joke!” and she kicked him in the balls so hard he vomited. She apologised and said she just freaked out.”

CakeDragon: “I was a zombie for a street game, where groups of players have to run a zombie ‘gauntlet’ through the city centre. There were two types of zombies – slow zombies that were there for ambience, and fast zombies, that could chase and catch the players – and ‘infect’ them.

“I was in a fast zone with another zombie, hidden strategically in the shadows so we could jump out, get a good scare, and chase the players to the end of the zone.

“Well a group comes along and we start to chase them, at which point the group scatters and completely legs it, abandoning one member. When we caught her she just turned around and went, ‘oh.’ She kept saying, ‘thought we were supposed to work together in a zombie apocalypse,’ and was so dejected.”

Icedpickles: “I was in a haunted house with a group of people. There was this huge muscular dude that was there with his girlfriend. For the entire time, the girl was somewhat clinging to the muscular guy, who hadn’t really reacted to anything himself.

“Eventually we get to the end. But it turns out it’s not actually the end, because an actor in monster costume suddenly jumps out of nowhere.

“The muscular guy shrieks and pushes his girlfriend right in front of him towards the monster. He very quickly realised that the danger was fake and tried to compose himself. But it was too late, everyone had seen him. And everyone, including the monster actor and girlfriend, began snickering uncontrollably at his cowardliness.”

Brendan685: “The best thing that happened was that I saw a girl from gradeschool going through the room. She obviously couldn’t recognise me so as she passed I whispered her name.

“She got a huge fright and the next day she asked on Facebook who was working in the haunted house. I never told her who it was. Sorry Jenna.”

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