The emotional and surreal process of handing in your dissertation, in 40 stages
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You’re SO nearly there. We hope you’re ready to feel all the world’s feelings. 1. I’ve been proof reading for five and a half hours. Just. Can’t. Anymore. 2. Better had, though. Just one more time... 3. Almost done. Almost. (Why are people in the library being so loud? Breathe.) 4. Ok, we’re done here. I’m HITTING PRINT. 5. IT’S PRINTING. IT’S PRINTING! 6. I can see mistakes as the pages emerge. Oh, shit. 7. I actually don’t care. I’m so demoralised; I physically can’t look at these words anymore. Never mind. 8. It feels so warm. Let us just look on its beauty for a second... oh right, yes. Sorry. I’ll get out of the way of the printer. 9. Shit, I hope all my pages are here. I’ll just count. 10. I’ve counted seven times. They’re all here, and in order too. Phew. 11. Or, are they? I’d better get someone else to check... 12. Ok, next step. I’m leaving the library and I’ll never have to step in here to work on my dissertation again. Ever! Because I’ve finished it! 13. Do I dare get it bound before proof-reading it for one final time? What if there are mistakes? 14. Oh right, yeah – there definitely were, and I didn’t care. 15. Where the heckers am I supposed to go to get this thing bound? 16. I never knew this place existed - yet somehow, I’ve walked past it every day for three years. It’s so secretive, and so full of paper. I feel like I’m in Hogwarts. 17. Hey, tiny old bindery man – BE CAREFUL WITH MY LIFE’S WORK. (He’s so old. His face looks like the paper he so lovingly binds. Has he been here since the dawn of time, or at least since the inception of the university?) 18. Shit, £14.99 to bind it? Is it worth it? 19. I’m annoyed and definitely wish I didn’t have to pay for binding.
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