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The 10 Worst Things to Happen Whilst You're Drunk

21st November 2013

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Drinking yourself into oblivion is, for many students, one of the perks of university life. However, as I am sure any student who has being drunk knows, getting ‘white gal wasted’ (just drink until you can’t stand anymore) doesn’t always go to plan. Here are the 10 worst things that can happen to you whilst you’re drunk…

1.) Having to walk home

 It’s the end of the night, and you’re stumbling back home to order your 3am Dominoes. However, there is a slight problem…you’ve run out of cash. Your only option is to walk home. On your way, you spy a stray cat, which you christen Fluffy and start following down the street. When you wake up, the night is a blur but you are safely in your bed, with no idea how you made it back. Then you remember that UberFacts once tweeted that cats have an amazing sense of direction…

2.) Losing your friends in the club



















You and your bestie are at the bar ordering another round of vodka shots. You pay the barman and turn around to find your ride or die is no longer beside you. Suddenly, you’re back to Debenhams’s department store when you’re five and you’ve lost your mum because you were too busy looking at toys. You down the shots (your friend’s included) and see that person from your course that you sat next to one time in a lecture… meh, they’ll do for now.

3.) Dropping your drink









Your drunken state has you feeling rebellious so you sneak a JD and coke onto the dance floor and start angrily ranting to your mate about the stupid rules in clubs. ‘Why aren’t you allowed to have your drink on the dance floor? That’s so stupid, I mean what could possibly…” Yep, that girl in the green dress doing the robot just knocked your drink all over the floor. Maybe you should just stick to the bar after all.

4.) Not having junk food at your flat








You’ve successfully made it back to your accommodation and you are STARVING. I don’t mean you feel a little peckish, you are ravenous and ready to eat a horse. You rifle through everyone’s kitchen cupboards searching for fatty, sweet-tasting or filling food, but find nothing. You collapse on the sofa and a tear rolls slowly down your cheek; why must life at university be so damn hard?

5.) Drunk texting/dialling













It’s the morning after the night before, your head is pounding and your legs are aching. You go to check the time on your phone and see notifications in abundance. Your palm slowly reaches up to be buried in your face as you realise you’ve snapchatted your ex saying ‘I styll wub yuh’ and rang your mum five times at 4am to tell her just how much you appreciate her.

6.) Falling over









One of the worst things about being drunk is that you lose all sense of balance. Even walking to the bar is like tight-roping over the Grand Canyon. You’ve tripped over five times now, but you convince yourself you’ve recovered well by jumping right back up and screaming ‘WOOO LET’S GET WASTED!’ You down another Sambuca, hoping it will miraculously stop the blood that’s streaming down your leg.

7.) Not being let into the club







The pinnacle of drunkenness comes in the form of being rejected entry to the nightclub and having your night end before it has even begun. You try and convince the bouncers that you’re ‘totes sober’ by walking in a straight (ish) line, reciting the names of all your primary school teachers and singing a jaunty tune…but for some reason, they’re still convinced you’re too drunk.

8.) Telling someone what you really think of them








As the old saying goes, drunken words are sober thoughts. Sometimes, revealing your true opinions when drunk can be a good thing, like when you let your best friend know just how much you love them. However, sometimes brutal honesty is not so good, like when you end up telling your flatmate that you’re sick of them never washing up and never really liked them anyway. This kind of honesty is normally followed by a lengthy bedroom hibernation over the proceeding days, in order to avoid any awkward kitchen confrontations.

9.) Getting off with a stranger









You’re drunk and everyone in the club looks FAF (fit as f***!). You grab the first clubber you see and go straight in for a full frontal snog. In the moment, it feels like you’re Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Yet, in reality it doesn’t look quite so pretty, as you later learn when numerous photos of you getting off with said clubber appear on Facebook. Maybe you should delete mum from your friends list.

10.) Sobering up between pre-drinks and arriving at the club






Now for the horror of all horrors. The worst and most feared thing that can happen to you whilst you’re drunk…sobering up. In the taxi you were buzzing, but queuing up outside for an hour and a half means you’re not feeling quite so merry. You curse the pre-drinking gods as you shuffle into the club and get out your wallet… all that Tesco value vodka for nothing! What a waste.

This article originally appeared on Exeposé.

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