Financial domination: Meet the men who hand over cash to be insulted by women
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So who exactly are these guys who get a kick of this unusual fetish? As it turns out, the answer is extremely ordinary men. One of them is Pencil Dick, who introduces himself as a “middle aged, middle class, married” man who will only be interviewed under the condition that I refer to him by this affectionate nickname. By day he’s a popular alpha male with a good job and an active social life, but in his private life he gets his sexual kicks from throwing cash at young women who humiliate and degrade him online.For ‘Pencil’, his descent into the virtual world of fin dom began in his office. “Her name was Sarah. I think she realised she could manipulate me after spending some time in my company during many of the boozy nights out after work shared with many office colleagues,” he says. What began with Sarah asking for lunch money and cigarettes soon turned into demands for £20-30 a week. Pencil happily obliged, and after Sarah left the office his dedication to fin doms went online, where he used Twitter to scout out new young women to splash his cash on. Pencil’s involvement in the secretive world of fin dom might have originated in the real world, but for other pay pigs it’s a strictly online business. For 37-year-old human resources manager Richard, his secret pay pig identity remains in the same place it was born; in the virtual world, as an escape from his “vanilla” wife. To many of us, the idea of someone getting paid for sitting around and bitching while the rest of us have to work like a dog just to afford to go to Nando’s is terribly unjust, but that’s exactly what Richard finds so erotic. “The thought of the unfairness turned me on. I studied and worked hard while they lay in bed smoking weed but they got the money,” he says. As Richard got more engrossed in fin dom, he would do embarrassing and degrading things under the instruction of women who held him by the wallet. “I wore a dog collar and a leash, ate from a dog bowl, wore knickers and a bra under my work clothes and would put myself on sex bans if my fin dom told me to,” he recalls. “One made me go to a super market and get a receipt showing that I had bought just a large cucumber, a packet of three condoms and a tube of lubricant.” That’s a far more impressive story to reel off at parties than the same old spiel about your marketing job, right? But despite the world of fin dom seeming like a girl-dominated world where females rule the roost and pay pigs are left drooling in their wake, the reality is quite the contrary.
“I sometimes feel like I’m ‘topping the bottom’,” Richard says, “by which I mean it isn’t real submission. I am very selective about what I do and it feels sometimes like the women are working for me. Paying them is more an expression of my power than my submission. I create the exchange. I choose whether or not to pay, how much, when I want to pay.”Being a pay pig is a way of giving over some control, be it by tying a shoelace around your penis, or splurging hundreds on some girl’s Amazon wishlist. Miss H highlights the need to be cautious. “Sex work is sex work, no matter how it’s framed and it could jeopardise future career options,” she says. “It’s still hard for ex-porn, ex-escorts and ex-dommes to get jobs and potential employers don’t always give a shit about the difference between a fiin dom and a prostitute if they think their reputation could be damaged. It’s important for women to know that when engaging in any kind of sex work online.” Successful fin doms are seen less as freeloaders and more as skilled BDSM workers. These ladies might not be wearing strap-ons and wielding whips, but they’re providing a service that arouses men, and relying on men’s money to get by.