What People Believe: Time Cube Theory

Time Cube Theory is the brainchild of Gene Ray, the self-styled ‘wisest man on Earth’. The theory, expounded in two large columns of multi-coloured text on his website, has made Ray an internet celebrity; the page itself achieved immense popularity because of its impenetrable pseudo-science and vitriolic criticism of what it refers to as singularity consciousness.

Gene Ray’s philosophy is derived from a fairly simple principle. Conventional wisdom defines the world as an imperfect sphere and calls the period of its rotation through 360 degrees a day. Ray points out that the Earth shares many similarities with a cube- having a top, bottom, front, back and sides - and can therefore be regarded as a cube. Given this redefinition, Ray suggests that every rotation is not one day, but four - an assertion which many have found puzzling.

The idea of four days comes - as far as one can ascertain from Ray’s rambling, note-like manifesto - from the fact that a cube fixed on two faces (the poles, in the case of the Earth-cube) can rotate through its four other faces. Following these four faces through a single rotation, each would have accrued 24 hours in time. To make it simpler, consider it this way: in one rotation of the earth, four different people in four different countries have four different days. At this point, Ray concludes that a rotation of the earth represents four days, not one - and therefore the whole of philosophy and science must be re-evaluated.

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The manifesto of the ‘greatest thinker ever’ goes on to attack those who are ignorant or dismissive of his theory, suggesting that they are evil. According to him, the universe is governed by polarities, and singularities such as god and the self are therefore not only incorrect, but in some sense blasphemous against ‘cubic consciousness’. The theory then begins to share some qualities with religious doctrine, as Ray represents the time cube at various points as being somehow conscious, and capable of seeking revenge on those who fail to understand it. Drawing mainly on Judaeo-Christian mythology - despite opposing these traditions vehemently at other times - Ray conjures an image of a world which will suffer the tortures of hell for not accepting time cube theory.

As well as its quasi-religious threats, the theory also contains elements which support racial segregation. Like Earth, many other aspects of existence are apparently better understood as cubic: the human head, the ‘four stages’ of human life, and the four races, which Ray defines as White, Black, Asian and Indian. The manifesto denounces the mixing of these distinct races, particularly in the context of the United States, which is the only country to which Dr. Gene refers.

As time has gone on, Ray’s website has become increasingly dedicated to challenging academics into open debate with him and his theory. The visionary seems to be conflicted, however, in his simultaneous desire that the theory should be taught in schools, and his conviction that no one besides himself is qualified to teach or even understand the time cube. Besides awarding himself the title of wisest man on earth, he has also bestowed upon himself the ‘doctorate of cubicism’ on the grounds that no other educator was qualified to award the title.

Ray has offered various prizes ranging between $500 and $10,000 to anyone who can disprove his theory. As of this writing, the prize has never been successfully claimed. The number of followers of time cube theory is impossible to verify, given that - due to the nature of the theory- it is widely considered to be a joke, and therefore the subject of much ironic subscription. Since the only known adherent of Dr. Gene Ray’s theory is therefore Dr. Gene Ray, time cube theory remains - despite its fame - one of the least popular philosophies ever conceived.

What People Believe: Time Cube Theory

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