Film Review: Gutshot Straight
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★★☆☆☆ When I was given the chance to review Gutshot Straight, a movie that had Steven Seagal, Vinnie Jones and explosions on the front cover, I thought it might be some stupid action fun. Boy I was wrong. This movie starts with our main character, Jack, visiting Vinnie Jones and Steven Seagal. Enjoy them folks, because this minute long appearance is their longest of the film. Genuinely they have, like, five minutes between them. That’s not what you’d think if you looked at the poster. Immediately following this scene, we have a music video style opening credits.You know, like James Bond. In fact a LOT like James Bond. It has the same style of special effects, the same games of women and bullets, the same style of ballad being sung. Did they really think that James Bond was the franchise to attempt to try and steal parts from without being noticed? I mean it’s not like there’s been many Bond movies. After spending four minutes tricking you that you’re watching a different movie, we are disappointingly dumped back into the real film. We see Jack in a casino, gambling, chatting and generally attempting to be George Clooney from Ocean’s 11. He also meets a character who is obviously the villain. I mean he wears Aviators indoors and talks only in whispered riddles. He’s the bad guy people. Well, Bad Guy tells Jack to come to his house. Eventually, Jack gives Bad Guy a call and they meet in a strip club. Why? So we can see tits. This scene exists purely so the film can have tits in. It might even be the longest scene of the movie. I think each stripper’s top half has more screen time than Segal and Jones put together. Afterwards they go to Bad Guy’s house, where he offers Jack $50,000 to sleep with Bad Guy’s daughter in front of him. And actually, this is a really good scene. I mean, sure it’s completely out of tone with the rest of the movie, but that isn’t the scene’s fault. If this scene was in a good movie, rather than this one, this scene would have recieved a lot of credit. It’s well shot, with an eerie tension and some pretty decent acting. And boy did the makers of this film know it. Throughout the rest of the movie we are bombarded with flashbacks of this same scene. I mean, flashbacks are one thing. But six flashbacks, in six different scenes. Jesus, is the whole second half of the film just a highlight reel of the first half? In fact, reshowing its good parts is a problem this movie has in general. For instance, in the first casino scene Jack tells an anecdote about meeting a killer in prison. It’s quite funny, and works as a short joke. But he then follows it up with four tag on parts, retelling the punchline over and over. You could argue this is just Jack’s character, but he doesn’t show that desperation elsewhere. I genuinely think the film’s writers just wanted to point out that they told an okay joke.
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