Bad Sex Literary Award shortlist: fancy a wubbering springboard?
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If I was to ask you who you thought would win this year’s Bad Sex Literary Award, a prize for the writer of the worst sex scene in a newly published novel, I can guess who you would say. But, surprisingly, you would be wrong. E.L. James, author of the Fifty Shades trilogy, is noticeable absent from the shortlist. As is J.K Rowling, who’s new adult novel the Casual Vacancy celebrates the writer’s release from adolescent writing to divulge into “that miraculously unguarded vagina.” Mrs. Weasley would be shocked to say the least. In fact, the recently released shortlist consists of a large majority of male writers. And in the 30 years since the awards were first set up by Auberon Waugh, the vast majority of the winners have been men. Generally, whilst women like the sensuous imagery and bounding metaphors, men seem to like to jump in and then jump right out again, which as the award list seems to demonstrate, is looked upon more harshly by readers. To demonstrate what I mean, here’s one potential winner from Craig Raine’s The Divine Comedy: “And he came. Like a wubbering springboard. His ejaculate jumped the length of her arm. Eight diminishing gouts. The first too high for her to lick. Right on the shoulder.”
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