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Gyles Brandreth's top 10 celebrity quotes of 2013


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Reflections on Shropshire blue cheese, Kim Jong-un, adultery and badgers: Gyles Brandreth, editor of the Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations, has been observing what those occasionally insightful famous people have been saying this year - and has produced his top ten.

The list includes pearls of wisdom from journalists, broadcasters, cricketers and a certain Bake Off host. So, who said what this year?

Brandreth says: “There are only two British politicians in the list this year and the surprise is that neither of them is Boris Johnson.  Boris has been amusing this year, but he hasn’t come up with a corker.  The only other politician to make the Top Ten in 2013 is an Australian and I don’t think he meant to be as funny as he was.”

Here we go...

“No one, however smart, however well-educated, however experienced, is the suppository of all wisdom.”

Tony Abbott, Australian Liberal politician

“Cheese. Shropshire Blue—it's so high in calorific content you need only rub against it, and that's enough.”

Eric Pickles, British Conservative politician, on why he is so large.

“The badgers have moved the goalposts.”

Owen Paterson, British Conservative politician, on being asked why marksmen had failed to reach the badger cull target:

“Just on the chance I might one day have to speak on an evening such as this I've actually stayed in character as myself for the last 55 years.”

Daniel Day-Lewis, English actor (noted for his ‘method’ acting), accepting a Best Actor award at the BAFTAs.

“...the new five ages of man:

“Lager, Aga, Saga, Viagra, Gaga.”

Virginia Ironside, English journalist

“If a boy goes into a cake shop he will try every cake, whereas a girl will just stick to the one she likes.”

Mary Berry, TV cook, on being told that Great British Bake Off presenter Paul Hollywood had left his wife for a younger woman.

“There are more brains in a chocolate mouse.”

Geoffrey Boycott,English cricketer, on Joe Root's dismissal in the second Ashes Test.

“To be fair to Kim Jong-un, if I was given a haircut like that, I'd go nuclear.”

Rory Bremner, British impressionist and comedian

“If you don't give your child a middle name, how are they ever to know when you are cross with them?”

Vivienne Clore, British showbusiness agent

“One can never be too old, too grey or too plain for a gorgeous pair of shoes.”

Mary Beard, classicist and broadcaster

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