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Is it chivalrous or sexist for men to pay for women on dates?


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21st century dating is difficult because of so many reasons, one of which being that whole paying debate: “right, how are we going to do this?”. Is he going to make the first move? Should I? What if my suggestion emasculates him? What if he thinks I’m too much of a raging feminist to accept his offer?

Or maybe, just maybe, let him pay the damn bill if he wants and be on your way. Don’t sweat it.


Paying on dates doesn’t have to be such a big thing. It’s been overcomplicated through social expectations that the man must pay, or that feminism exists and therefore women should split the bill; it’s all total bull. Through a little poll I ran on twitter, only 5% of people think men paying is sexist and I couldn’t agree more.

With years of female oppression putting women at the bottom of the pile, considering us to only be good at typical women things such as housekeeping, child-bearing and cooking, there is a tradition that the man must provide, assert his power and dominance and it’s a tradition that applies to 21st century dating – the guy should pay.

I think it’s totally dependable; how long have you been together? Is it a first date? Are you financially stable? Do you like the guy? Does he like you? There are so many factors to take into consideration about what should happen when it comes to paying on a date.

With a first date, I love a bit of charm and chivalry, who doesn’t? A first date is full of first impressions, and I’m a firm believer that on a first date the man should offer to pay – I emphasise the word "offer".

I don’t expect him to pay, but I sure would like to feel like he wants to pay for me. Even a bit of that receipt dancing, where you grab it from each other, it just shows that they are a gentleman. It’s the same with simple acts like opening doors and giving you their jacket, it’s just politeness, don’t you think? It doesn’t give up your right to consider yourself a feminist or eliminate the idea that he may be a feminist too, how can a guy be sexist for wanting to treat you nicely?

After a while, paying for dates changes. My boyfriend and I have this totally random way of equally paying for our dinners and date nights. If he wants to go to a Chinese restaurant, then he’ll pay. If I want a dirty takeaway, I’ll pay, or we just treat each other and don’t question it. It’s nice to look after him once in a while and show that boy some kindness in the form of free food.

With feminism being a very dominating topic of interest in pretty much every aspect of life right now, it gets questioned in itself and the people who consider themselves feminist are biting at others for their actions, basically it’s equality, but it doesn’t mean you have to be this righteous independent female 24/7 who does not need a man to be a feminist.

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