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We're on the tail end of the biggest recession to hit our shores since that other big one. David Cameron isn't going anywhere so we're just all going to have to carry on being poor. He's privatising the NHS so it won't be long until we're exactly like the U.S and it costs us £100,000 to have a heart attack. BUT, there's hope.

It’s something that we all dread when moving out at the beginning of summer – spending an entire day scrubbing the flat from top to bottom, before being told a week later that our deposit isn’t being returned, actually, because our mopping skills apparently just aren’t up to scratch.

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