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How to stand up to those clown bullies, in four easy steps

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The wave of prankster clowns we’ve all been reading about has reached the UK.

A phenomenon that first started in the US, the clown wave grew greater and greater as it was fed by more and more stories from news media outlets, social media and the internet.

Only three days ago Thames Valley Police reported 14 incidents in 24 hours. Meanwhile, some people have taken justice in their own hands. Whitehaven, Cumbria has its own Batman standing up against the pranksters.

Until this craze dies out, there are a few things we could do to help combat this invasion.

1. Water balloons

Do you know a particular shady alley that clowns like to hide in?

If so, turn their strategy against them!

Balloons are classic clown paraphernalia. Grab a few mates and fill a few balloons with water. Once you’re done, go to the place where you know the clown is lurking, and give them a surprise they won’t be able to forget anytime soon.

And if the person behind the clown mask gets a cold, they’ll have some time off to think about their life choices and what has led to their current state.

2. Become a mime 

A clown’s original job was to make children laugh. These new killer clowns seem to take pleasure in startling and scaring people.

The most sure-fire way to discourage clowns would therefore be to not let them know that you’re affected. The best way to go about doing that is to become a mime.

Such artists are obviously a clown’s worst nightmare, since not only are they silent, but they are also not supposed to show emotion. The bread and butter of the prankster clown trade. So how to go about becoming a mime?

The first step is to wear the distinctive mime makeup: white paint over the face (but not on the throat), black eyeliner and "tears" running down the cheekbones, dark eyebrows and red lipstick

The second step is to wear a mime costume. The black and white striped attire is easily attainable and recognisable.

Though the clothes and makeup might earn you a few sidelong stares, anything is worth in the anti-clown effort.  

3. Water spray

It’s a little known fact that clowns, like cats, are afraid of water.

An easy anti-clown weapon would thus be to get a simple plant spray and fill it with water. If a clown jumps out of a dark alley on your way home, you can now pop out your awesome anti-clown spray and give them a fright of their own.

It’s like a pepper spray, but for clowns.

4. Clown mask

To fight the prankster clowns, you must become a prankster clown.

Supermarkets are full of Halloween decorations and costumes. While some have pulled their clown costumes, there are a few, like ASDA, which still sell masks and clothes.

That way, when you meet one of them, you can quickly put on the mask. From then on, you have two options: convince them you’re part of the evil side or prank them right back by yelling in their face and running off. 

 

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