Don't do these 22 things if you want to get served on a night out
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But then it comes to these 22 types of customers who can make any bartender reconsider working with humanity at any point of your life
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1. The person who waves their cash/credit card to grab the bartender’s attention
This one is very unlikely to tip and probably a pretentious show off. This 20 note you’re waving just bought them the last place in the queue mate. That’s what happens when you try to bribe your way up
2. The one who drops their coins on the bar instead of in the bartender’s hand.
They literally gave you their hand. Their trust. Was it that much effort to drop the money in it? But sure, go ahead… who doesn’t love picking up money from the alcohol puddle on the bar.
3. The one who orders drinks one at a time.
Bartenders have good memory. They can remember a lot more than a few drinks at a time. You’ll do yourself a favour as well, as drinks will arrive a lot faster.
4. The “I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes…” person
Yes, so has everyone else. It is busy, the place is rammed, someone just threw up outside and the card machine is not working AGAIN. The bar staff are serving as fast as they can, no one is sitting around playing on their phone.
5. The hen/stag do.
If you somehow happen to be part of one, just know that all that excitement on your bartender’s face is VERY fake. Hen dos are too loud and too happy and too many. Yes, the bar staff hates them but they also understand. Have your fun, you deserve it…hopefully.
6. Checking your phone/talking to your mates/just not paying attention
Your order has been taken and prepared ASAP, so you’d be happy and now the bartender has to stand there and gently wave hands like a try-hard scarecrow. Surely you can survive a couple of minutes just waiting patiently, till it’s time to pay?
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7. Deciding you want to change your drink/mixer and pretending we got it wrong.
Coke and lemonade don’t sound remotely the same. Neither do Malibu and JD. Everyone knows what you said, and pretending otherwise is just plain rude. Yes, they’ll probably change your drink just to not make a big deal out of it, but if you ask politely it will be done anyway. There is such a thing as wastage sheet, and the bar staff does want to keep customers happy.
8. Trying to convince your bartender to make something which is not on the menu
They won’t have the ingredients. Or the time. Or both. Just go to that other place you had it and leave the poor people alone.
9. Asking for their number. Then not taking “no” for an answer.
The fact you are in that bar and the bartender saw you getting drunk enough to have courage to ask is already a reason for no. Also no, because… no.
10. Counting your coins and money for ages
First, every bar loves change, second-prices might be surprising. But if you have more than a tenner in coins, there are places where you could’ve changed it for a note before coming to the bar. Also 2am is not the time to ask, if your coins can be changed for notes.
11. Paying more than thirty pounds and not leaving a tip.
If you can spend that much on 3 pound priced drinks, surely you can leave a small tip. Not that you HAVE to, but we the person serving you will love you and probably serve you faster next time.
12. “Keep the change” when it’s actually 10p
Well thank you very much kind sir. Nine more of you and that lad behind the bar might be able to afford the McDonalds saver burger.
13. “Oh, and a Guinness please.”
At the end of already served round. HAVE YOU NO HEART?
14. When your bartender manages to hold a few drinks at a time and bring them to the bar and you remind them what else is left.
Yes, they know. It is coming. Do people have more than two hands? Perhaps they could try balancing on their head next time…
15. Smile/ Be happier
People like you are the reason your bartenders are not.
16. The group that orders round together and decides to pay separately
In most of the places staff can’t void too much things at a time for security reasons. Or the round is too big and it will take time and cause confusion to figure out who is paying what. If you order as a group then pay as a group. Enough said.
17. The person that just sits at the bar and stares at the staff
They’re asked a few times if they want to get served but they are fine so the bartender moves to the opposite side of the bar and pretends they’re not feeling stalked. Don’t be that person.
18. The person who asks the bartender to serve their friend next
That goes into “don’t tell me how to do my job” part. You just ensured your mate is not being served next
19. The one who has very specific request on what they want.
Two and a half cubes of ice? Just a little bit of coke but not too much? Two slices of lime cut in a heart shape and some pixie dust on top? How about go home and make yourself a drink?
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20. The one who asks for a free drink
The only free drink bar staff are authorized to serve you is water. Now do you want ice with it or you’ll pay for your drinks like everyone else?
21. The one that knocks over their drink and spills it all over the people around
Okay that might not be intentional but annoys us a lot. Like A LOT. Not only is everyone covered in alcohol but someone also has to wipe the spillage of the bar.
22. And finally… trying to get served after last call
There is a reason it is called “last call”. It is illegal to be served after that, and people can lose their job for doing so. Where can you go after here? Home… just go home, is morning already.