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Why Joel Schumacher's Batman Universe would be a great place to live

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Out all the Batman films, there is no doubt that Joel Schumacher’s are the worst.

Credit: News.com.au

For years the Schumacher films have been hammered by fans and critics alike and honestly, rightly so. The director's two movies are terribly written, badly edited, and generally messy, filled with laughable stunts and some awful acting. It gets very hard to sit through at times.

Surprisingly though, the universe Joel Schumacher created would actually be a great place to live in for a number of reasons.

The first of which is that this is the least scary Gotham seen on screen by far. When compared to Nolan’s Gotham, which is almost constantly subject to mass terrorist threat, Schumacher’s more whacky version of the city seems far less threatening.

In fact, there’s a lot about Schumacher’s Gotham that comes off as kind of cool were you actually to live there; the giant Greek looking statues, the huge gothic skyscrapers, outrageous street races with a bunch of crazy characters. There are also the ganglands, which are covered in striking neon paint - the same kind that covers the more acrobatic than scary thugs that roam those territories. A stroll through Schumacher’s Gotham at night would feel more like being at some weird paint party than in a run-down, crime ridden city. 

Credit: Crave Online

But it’s not just the thugs that are colourful looking figures. The villains of both Batman Forever and Batman and Robin are far too ridiculous looking to feel threatening and, if anything, watching them try to take over the city on the news would just make again for some entertaining viewing. With characters like Jim Carrey’s Riddler and Tommy Lee Jones’ Two Face, crime would be far more interesting.

Just think, you’re at a dull Gotham rich kids party and suddenly, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Mister Freeze blasts through the wall, closely followed by henchmen dressed in comically bad Eskimo outfits. As long as you kept a low profile, which when people are running scared in the over-the-top fashion that they do in the Schumacher-verse isn't that hard to do, you’d be able to bask in the sheer lunacy of the situation. There's a six-foot-two ice-man in a glow-up suit searching for diamonds as he shouts the most cringe-worthy puns, serving only to commentate on his own actions.

It would be absurd. It would be amazing. 

Credit: Comic Book

If you lived in the Nolan-verse the best you could hope for when the Joker bursts into a party would be that you're not the one that reminds him of his father.

The highlight of this universe would, of course, be both the Batmen in it. One night it could be Kilmer, the next it could be Clooney. Both were horribly miscast in their respective films but would be equally entertaining to see in action on the streets. The Schumacher-verse sees Batman presented more as a celebrity than the brooding dark knight we’re used to, and for someone living in that world, that could be pretty fun.

Credit: Cosmic Book News

There is also the fact that in this universe Bat nipples would be a standard for all heroes. Not to mention that other ridiculous inventions, such as Bat-skates, rubber lips and of course Batman’s credit card, with the appropriate expiry date of ‘forever’, would also exist here.

So as strange as it sounds, and as undeniably bad as the Joel Schumacher Batman films are, it turns out the director’s much-loathed movie universe could actually be a pretty entertaining place to live.

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