8 things wrong with Alien: Covenant
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Alien: Covenant, the second installment in the Alien prequel series, is a slight upgrade over the very flawed and uneven Prometheus – but it still has a lot of problems. I more or less enjoyed Alien: Covenant the first time I saw it (even gave it a somewhat positive review). Then, just like with Prometheus, some time passed and I realised there are more than a few things that just don’t make any sense. From plot holes and inconsistencies, to just plain dumb moments, here are 8 Things That Are Wrong with Alien: Covenant. (Beware: MAJOR spoiler alert!) 1. No one wears a helmet (again) In Prometheus, Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green) made the infamously stupid decision to take off his helmet in an unknown, untested, potentially hazardous environment just because the air was breathable. Even stupider still, everyone else followed suit right after. The crew of the Covenant however, doesn’t even bother to wear helmets. After all, it’s only an unknown, untested, potentially hazardous alien planet. What are the odds that some kind of toxin or pathogen will infect multiple crew members, causing them to die horrible painful deaths while alien creatures burst out of their bodies? Bottom line, either wear full protective gear, or send androids like Walter (Michael Fassbender) in first so that they can take samples and make sure you won’t die. 2. The “fingering” line While teaching his android buddy Walter how to play a musical instrument, David (also Michael Fassbender) utters what is bound to be the most infamous line of the movie – “I’ll do the fingering”. It’s a blatantly stupid, out of place joke for an Alien movie, made even worse by its context. See, there is some creepy sexual tension between the dual Fassbenders (does that count as android incest?), which is kind of a plot point and establishes a few things about David as a character. The “fingering” line makes it so overt that it becomes silly and stupid. Plus, it ruins what is otherwise a pretty good scene between the two androids. 3. Oram dies because he trusts David for no reason Acting captain Oram (Billy Crudup) sees David sharing an intimate moment with the last surviving Neomorph (no fingering involved) and promptly shoots it. When David is horrified by the death of the creature, Oram turns the gun on him, demanding answers. David then reveals he’s been experimenting with the black goo to genetically engineer aliens and takes Oram to a chamber full of some very familiar looking eggs. Oram, like a complete idiot, trusts David when he tells him that the eggs are perfectly safe, touches one and then just stands there as a facehugger jumps at him. If only he was smart enough to not go alone or trust the creepy android that clearly showed he valued alien lifeforms more than humans just a few minutes ago. 4. Tennessee risks the lives of the colonists to contact the crew The three remaining pilots of the Covenant lose radio contact with the ground team because of a storm and have no idea what’s going on with them. They know something’s wrong, because the last transmission happened just as the infected crew members were dying, but other than that, they’re in the dark. Chief pilot Tennessee (Danny McBride) is especially anxious, because his wife is with the ground team. He decides to move the ship closer to the storm in the hopes of getting a better signal, even though the computer and his subordinates tell him it would risk destroying the Covenant - the ship with more than 2,000 sleeping colonists on it. Yeah. There’s just no way to justify Tennessee’s decision. As the senior officer, his first responsibility is to the ship and the people on it. Sure, playing it safe might get the ground team killed, but so could damaging or destroying the ship while trying to rescue them. 5. When did Lope get implanted with an alien? Daniels (Katherine Waterston), Lope (Demián Bichir) and David, while pretending to be Walter, are the only one that make it out of the planet alive. They return to the Covenant and leave the injured Lope in the ship’s medbay. Later, the computer informs Daniels that there is an unknown lifeform on the ship and when she and Tennessee check the medbay, they find Lope dead with a hole in his chest.
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